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Gen X in the Golden Years.
'You know, back when I was a kid, all we needed to have fun was an old tin can... that and a really low standard for what was fun.'
Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'
'My social life has really picked up lately, with all these health clinic visits.'
'I think we should both write our wills, just in case anything happens.'
'It's not forgetting things completely that bothers me - it's remembering that I've forgotten to remember something that drives me mad!'
"Excuse me, but on weekdays at 4 A.M., my wife and I are not so much into the pop music."
Tags:neighbour, neighbours, neighbor, neigbors, apartment, apartments, flat, flats, noise, noisy, noise complaint, complaint, complaints, complain, complaining, middle of the night, 4 am, four am, loud music, music, weekdays, pop music, annoying, old age, elderly, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, guitar, musical instrument, musical instruments, playing music
"I think I've acquired some wisdom over the years, but there doesn't seem to be much demand for it."
Grim Reaper goes grocery shopping
"Mustard? Ketchup? Mayo? Talk to me, old man."
Tags:hot dog, hot dogs, hot dog stand, hot dog cart, hot dog truck, food truck, food trucks, food stand, food stands, food cart, food carts, street food, food vendor, food vendors, hot dog vendor, condiments, old age, old people, guru, gurus, hermit, hermits, fast food, toppings, extras, service industry, customer service
"My, Grandma, what crushing debt you have."
Tags:debt, in debt, debtor, accounting, accountant, accountants, retired, retirement, old age, the elderly, finance, financial management, money management, little red riding hood, red riding hood, fairy story, fairy stories, fairy tale, fairy tales, big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, millennial, millennials, calculate, calculating, accounts book, accounts books, irresponsible, irresponsibility, immature, immaturity
"Granted, we're living longer – on the other hand, we're out of it sooner."
Tags:life, living, long life, longevity, life expectancy, age, aging, old age, getting on, getting old, quality of life, low quality of life, old men, old man, grumpy old men, grumpy old man, bar, bars, pub, pubs, out of it, retirement, retire, retired, forced retirement, dementia, alzheimers, memory issues, losing it
"For our paper anniversary, he's going to assume my share of the national debt."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, old age, old people, ageing, aging, debt, in debt, paper anniversary, first year of marriage, anniversary, anniversaries, gift, gifts, present, presents, national debt
"Old is when your daughter announces she's seeing a younger man."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, daughter, daughters, adult child, adult kid, adult kids, father-daughter relationship, father-daughter relationships, relationship, relationships, dating, boyfriend, boyfriends, younger, man, men, old, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age
"I'm 65, Mom - I'll play my Blondie records as loud as I want!"
Tags:rock, rock music, classic rock, old age, dad rock, manchildren, man children, adult child, living with parents, basement, basements, parents' basement, mom, moms, mother, mothers, mum, mums, defiant, defiance, son, sons, adult son, adult sons, tantrum, tantrums, temper, temper tantrum, temper tantrums, throw a fit, throws a fit, throwing a fit, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, immature, immaturity, live at home, lives at home, living at home
"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."
Tags:married, marriage, couple, couples, spouse, spouses, relationship, relationships, husband, husbands, wife, wives, old people, old age, aging, ageing, sports fans, fans, fan, sport, sports, baseball, baseball fans, baseball team, professional baseball, retired, retirement, new york, new york city, nyc, queens
"I'm sixty-six – I don't want to see puppets in anything."
Tags:old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, old age, retirement, retiree, retirees, free time, leisure time, hobby, hobbies, arts and crafts, knit, knitting, knitter, knitters, too much, too far, huge, large, oversized, blanket, blankets, enough, addict, addicts, addiction, obsessed, obsession, obsessions, overboard, no space
"Oh, Marty! Our first gray hair!"
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, spouse, spouses, old, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, gray hair, gray hair, going gray, going grey, hair, middle age, middle aged, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis
Bumper Stickers for Seniors.
"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."
Tags:cantankerous, doctor, doctors, old age, grow old, growing old, crotchety, old man, old men, grump, grumps, grumpy, grumpiness, surly, temper, tantrum, tantrums, pain in the butt, diagnosis, diagnose, diagnosing, appointment, appointments, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, old age pensioner, pensioner, pensioners
"Do you suppose I could enjoy 'Dynasty' without listening to an hour of suspender-snapping?"
Tags:soap opera, soap operas, daytime tv, daytime television, tv, television, show, shows, prime time, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, old age, old people, elder, elders, elderly, ageing, aging, retired, retire, retirement, argue, argument, arguments, dispute, frustrated, distracting
"I want an aisle seat in no smoking, lots of fresh air, proper maintenance, no cracks in the fuselage - and none of your frigging bug spray!"
Tags:airport, airports, air travel, air travels, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers, fussy customer, fussy customers, flight, flights, customer satisfaction, customer experience, customer experience, aisle seat, aisle seats, non-smoking, bug spray, big sprays, grump, grumpy, old lady, old ladies, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, pensioner, pensioners, old age, old-age
"In the last few months, Matthew has gone on twenty-four-hour alert for signs of aging."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, beauty, attractiveness, youth, ging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, old, middle age, middle-age, middle aged, middle-aged, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, signs of aging, signs of ageing, 24 hour, twenty-four hour, alert, alerts, emergency, emergencies, vanity, vain, ego, egotistical, egotistic, wrinkle, wrinkles
"Another birthday. I feel like a dinosaur."