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'Because when you're old and lonely, you'll get mail from your alumni association. That's why you need to graduate from college.'
'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'
Just days before her 62nd birthday, Brenda has a senior moment.
'I love these senior citizen discounts.'
Baby Boomers will be 100 before they think they're 50.
'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'
Home for retired Jazzmen.
Home for Seniors.
'Congratulations! You've gone from a care-free baby-boomer, to a care-needy elderly person in record time!'
Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'
'Arthur! When are you going to start accepting the passage of time?'
'Lotsa Luck, Kiddo!'
Types of Old People
The City Center Presents: An evening with Grandpa Warren.
Living Longer Magazine.
'Methuselah never stops complaining - it's been 'age discrimination' since he was 600.'
'The problem is he's 98.6...It's his age.'
'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'
'I wonder what I'll do with my life?...I don't know what I'm doing with my life...I can't remember what I did with my life.'
'To what do you attribute your longevity?'
'Old people do smell different. They smell like money.'
The most fabulous Gran in the world.
'Grandpa, would you ever wear an adult diaper?'
'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
Old people sign - Whatever