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"We never talk anymore."
Tags:dummy, dummies, ventriloquist, ventriloquists, ventriloquism, talk, talks, talking, conversation, conversations, married couple, married couples, old married couple, old married couples, chat, chats, chatting, speak, speaks, speaking, comedian, comedians, vaudeville, throw your voice, throwing your voice
"No offense, but your mother couldn't fry bacon, could't make toast, and could't heat up last week's beans, and her famous raisin pie would make a buzzard tremble."
Tags:couple, couples, old married couple, old married couples, arguing couple, arguing couples, argue, argues, arguing, argues, insult, insulting, insulting your mom, insulting your mother, mil, mother in law, mothers in law, daughter in law, daughters in law, cant cook, bad cook, bad cooks, no offence, no offense
"I'm sixty-six – I don't want to see puppets in anything."
"He's stopped waiting for Brexit and moved on with his life."
"If I weren't so fond of you, I'd probably be really fond of someone else."
Tags:fond, fondness, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, married couple, married couples, marital problem, marital problems, old married couple, old married couples, happy marriage, happy marriages, affectionate, affection, affair, affairs, adulterer, adulterers, love life, love-life, commitment issue, commitment, commitments
"I can't wait 'til we're so close we don't have to talk."
"We're in the tub together. But not like it used to be."
Tags:tub, tubs, bathtub, bathtubs, bathing, bath, baths, home improvement, home improvements, redecorate, redecorating, redecorate, redecorated, interior design, interior, grouting, tile, tiles, cleaning, cleaning job, cleaning jobs, love life, love-life, old married couple, old married couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives
"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."
Tags:animal, animals, tortoise, old married couple, old married couples, old-married-couple, old-married-couples, giant tortoise, tortoises, giant tortoises, turtle, turtles, reptile, reptiles, old, old age, ageing, aging, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, lifespan, wife, wives, husband, husbands, long life, long-life, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps
"and then THIS happened..."
Tags:couple, couples, relationship, relationship, long term relationship, long term relationships, comfort, comfortable, marriage, marriages, old married couple, old married couples, bedtime, bedtime reading, book, books, book lover, book lovers, laptop, laptops, tablet, tablets, smart tablet, smart tablets, technology, ebook, ebooks
State of the disunion speech
Tags:state of the union, state of the union address, state of the union speech, disunion, disunity, union, unity, united, divided, political divide, political divides, national divide, national divides, divided nation, divided nations, tv, tvs, watching tv, news, watching the news, tv news, television news, couple, couples, old married couple, old married couples, long-term relationships, relationship, relationships
"We met cute, but we didn't continue cute."
"We were dog people when we met - what happened?"
Tags:dog people, dog person, cat person, cat people, cat, cats, dog, dogs, canine, canines, feline, felines, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, old married couple, old married couples, cat lover, cat owner, cat owners, cat lovers, dog lover, dog lovers, dog owner, dog owners, change, changes, bad influence, bad influences, family pet, family pets
"Don't even think about it, buster!"
Tags:cupid's arrow, cupid, valentine, valentines, cupids arrow, valentine's day, valentines day, married couple, married couples, turn in, turns in, turning in, turn in early, turning in early, resistant, resistance, shoot, shoots, shooting, shot, married life, married lives, old married couple, old married couples, low sex drive, low sex drives
"You know what I want for our twentieth anniversary? A Dumpster."
Tags:dumpster, dumpsters, cleanout, clean out, clean outs, anniversary, anniversaries, wedding anniversary, wedding anniversaries, clutter, clutters, cluttered, spring clean, spring cleans, spring cleaning, rubbish, junk, hoarder, hoarders, hoarding, hoard, hoards, hoarded, old married couple, old married couples, gift idea, gift ideas, present idea, present ideas
"'Release the hounds!' That's your answer to everything."
Tags:release the hounds, hound, hounds, rich, wealthy, wealth, one percent, 1%, attack dog, attack dogs, guard dog, guard dogs, old married couple, old married couples, bicker, bickering, bickers, rich men, old rich men, old rich white men, rich man, old rich man, old rich white man, answer to everything, broken record, broken records
"Refresh my memory, Nelson. When was the last time you were all smiles?"
"When did our relationship move from the bedroom to the kitchen."
"You've got a green light - use it!"
"Who the hell is Marky Mark?"
Tags:spouse, spouses, wife, wives, husband, husbands, partner, partners, old married couple, old married couples, compliment, compliments, clueless, clueless husband, underwear, underwear model, underwear models, musician, musicians, pop star, celebrity, celebrities, out of touch, uncool, aging, aged, older, old, senior, senior citizen, senior citizens, seniors, old fashioned
"Really, Karl! Can't I mention the high price of kohlrabi without getting a manifesto."
Tags:kohlrabi, food, food shop, food shops, food shopping, price of food, cost of living, wife, wives, husband, husbands, old married couple, old married couples, karl marx, marx, communist manifesto, manifesto of the communist party, communism, communist, political theory, political theorist, political theorists, great minds
"If I ever say anything I haven't said already, let me know."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married couple, old married couple, old married couples, unhappy marriage, unhappy relationship, bicker, bickering, bore, boorish, boring, boring old man, boring old woman, monotonous, monotony, tedious conversation, boring conversation, repetitive, repetitive conversation, long term relationship, long term relationships, conversation, conversations, recycle, recycles, recycling, bore, bores, boring, couples therapy, therapy, therapist, therapists, original thought, stuck in a rut, rut, ruts
'Did you say something, or did I?'
"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."
Tags:tinnitus, snore, snores, snoring, perfect match, perfect matches, true love, true loves, sleeping disorder, sleeping disorders, sleep disorder, sleep disorders, snorer, snorers, husband, husbands, wife, wives, hearing problem, hearing problems, hearing noises, old age, ageing, old married couple, old married couples, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens
"We worked on this place for years – a real labor of love."
Tags:love, labor of love, labors of love, labour of love, labours of love, love heart, heart, hearts, home, homes, house, houses, diy, home buyer, home buyers, buying a home, for sale, buy, buying, sell, selling, old couple, old married couple, old couples, old married couples, lovely couple, lovely couples, lovey dovey, property, properties
"True. But what it says about him is something I've known for years."
Tags:mirror, mirrors, tailor, tailors, tailoring, suit, suits, dress up, dresses up, dressing up, statement, statements, statement outfit, statement outfits, make a statement, makes a statement, making a statement, married couple, married couples, old married couple, old married couples, double breasted suit, double breasted suits, buying clothes, retailer, retailers, aware, awareness, buying clothes, clothes shopping, clothing shopping