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"We never talk anymore."
Tags:dummy, dummies, ventriloquist, ventriloquists, ventriloquism, talk, talks, talking, conversation, conversations, married couple, married couples, old married couple, old married couples, chat, chats, chatting, speak, speaks, speaking, comedian, comedians, vaudeville, throw your voice, throwing your voice
"If I weren't so fond of you, I'd probably be really fond of someone else."
Tags:fond, fondness, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, married couple, married couples, marital problem, marital problems, old married couple, old married couples, happy marriage, happy marriages, affectionate, affection, affair, affairs, adulterer, adulterers, adultery, love life, love-life, commitment issue, commitment, commitments
"I can't wait 'til we're so close we don't have to talk."
"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."
Tags:animal, animals, tortoise, old married couple, old married couples, old-married-couple, old-married-couples, giant tortoise, tortoises, giant tortoises, turtle, turtles, reptile, reptiles, old, old age, ageing, aging, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, lifespan, wife, wives, husband, husbands, long life, long-life, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps
"We met cute, but we didn't continue cute."
"We were dog people when we met - what happened?"
Tags:dog people, dog person, cat person, cat people, cat, cats, dog, dogs, canine, canines, feline, felines, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, old married couple, old married couples, cat lover, cat owner, cat owners, cat lovers, dog lover, dog lovers, dog owner, dog owners, change, changes, bad influence, bad influences, family pet, family pets
"Don't even think about it, buster!"
Tags:cupid's arrow, cupid, valentine, valentines, cupids arrow, valentine's day, valentines day, married couple, married couples, turn in, turns in, turning in, turn in early, turning in early, resistant, resistance, shoot, shoots, shooting, shot, sexless marriage, sexless marriages, married life, married lives, old married couple, old married couples, low sex drive, low sex drives
"You know what I want for our twentieth anniversary? A Dumpster."
Tags:dumpster, dumpsters, cleanout, clean out, clean outs, anniversary, anniversaries, wedding anniversary, wedding anniversaries, clutter, clutters, cluttered, spring clean, spring cleans, spring cleaning, rubbish, junk, hoarder, hoarders, hoarding, hoard, hoards, hoarded, old married couple, old married couples, gift idea, gift ideas, present idea, present ideas
"You've got a green light - use it!"
"Who the hell is Marky Mark?"
Tags:spouse, spouses, wife, wives, husband, husbands, partner, partners, old married couple, old married couples, compliment, compliments, clueless, clueless husband, underwear, underwear model, underwear models, musician, musicians, pop star, celebrity, celebrities, out of touch, uncool, aging, aged, older, old, senior, senior citizen, senior citizens, seniors, old fashioned
"If I ever say anything I haven't said already, let me know."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married couple, old married couple, old married couples, unhappy marriage, unhappy relationship, bicker, bickering, bore, boorish, boring, boring old man, boring old woman, monotonous, monotony, tedious conversation, boring conversation, repetitive, repetitive conversation, long term relationship, long term relationships, conversation, conversations, recycle, recycles, recycling, bore, bores, boring, couples therapy, therapy, therapist, therapists, original thought, stuck in a rut, rut, ruts
'Did you say something, or did I?'
"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."
Tags:tinnitus, snore, snores, snoring, perfect match, perfect matches, true love, true loves, sleeping disorder, sleeping disorders, sleep disorder, sleep disorders, snorer, snorers, husband, husbands, wife, wives, hearing problem, hearing problems, hearing noises, old age, ageing, old married couple, old married couples, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens
"True. But what it says about him is something I've known for years."
Tags:mirror, mirrors, tailor, tailors, tailoring, suit, suits, dress up, dresses up, dressing up, statement, statements, statement outfit, statement outfits, make a statement, makes a statement, making a statement, married couple, married couples, old married couple, old married couples, double breasted suit, double breasted suits, buying clothes, retailer, retailers, aware, awareness, buying clothes, clothes shopping, clothing shopping
'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'
"This personal lubricant has an expiration date of 2025 - just saying."
"We never close, do we, Howard?"
"Of course we've already had this conversation. There isn't a conversation we haven't already had."
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationship, old married couple, old married couples, long-term relationships, memory, bad memory, repeating conversations, boring conversation, boring conversations, getting old, getting on, getting older, retiring, middle age, middle aged
"Just what vows do you want to renew?"
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, wedding, weddings, marriage vow, marriage vows, renewal of vows, marriage vow renewal, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, financial security, long-term relationship, start over, starting over, old married couple, old married couples, long-term relationships, spousal dispute, spousal disputes
The Night of the Living Dead.
Tags:marriage, marriages, zombie, zombies, zombie movie, zombie movies, zombie film, zombie films, living dead, watch tv, watches tv, watching tv, couple, couples, married couple, married couples, middle age, middle aged, nonexistent, routine, routines, evening routine, evening routines, bored, boring, old married couple, old married couples, age, ages, ageing, aging
Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."
Tags:curmudgeon, curmudgeons, old man, old men, complain, complains, complaining, retire, retired, pensioner, pensioners, pension, pensions, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, old couple, old couples, old married couple, old married couples, programme, programmes, boob tube, gogglebollox
"Relax, honey - change is good."
Tags:death, grim reaper, black humor, language, clichés, dark humor, dark humour, die, dies, dying, transition, transitions, change, changes, changing, positive change, positive changes, afterlife, afterlives, good change, good changes, married couple, married couples, old married couple, old married couples, mankoff
"Harold still has all the moves...he just forgot how to use them."
'When I said we need to put some magic back into our marriage...'
'It's true what they say, dear. The first thing to go is your buoyancy.'