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The Older Testament: An Origin Story
Tags:bible, bible story, prequel, prequels, relationship, relationships, relationship problem, relationship problems, god, almighty, omnipotent, omnipotence, genesis, breakup, breakups, break-up, break-ups, nasty breakup, inspiration, inspirations, inspire, inspires, inspiring, therapy, therapist, therapist, couples therapy, couples therapist, couples therapists, counselling, counseling, counselor, counselors, counsellor, counsellors, fight, fights, fighting, argument, arguments, bicker, bickers, bickering, split up, splits up, splitting up, divorce, divorces, divorcing
"It's a big responsibility having green lighted everything."
Zeus reading book titled 'Omnipotent Beings Who Do Too Much.'
"I can't deal with any famines, massacres or epidemics right now - I've got to help some guy sink a foul shot."
Tags:god, sports, famine, massacres, basketball, pray, prays, prayer, prayers, power of prayer, priority, priorities, epidemic, epidemics, massacre, genocide, genocides, foul shot, foul shots, basketball, basketball player, basketball players, competition, competitions, almighty, god almighty, omnipotent, omnipotence, lord, the lord, prioritise, prioritises, prioritising, mankoff
"Switching to drones has made having to be everywhere at once much more manageable."
Tags:drones, robots, god, omnipresent, omnipresence, omnipotent, omnipotence, gods, lord, drone, drone strike, drone strikes, relax, relaxes, day off, days off, easy street, better living, better life, robot, drone, workload, workloads, heavy workload, heavy workloads, work life, working life, mankoff
"When you have all the answers, what's left?"
Tags:god, omnipotent, omnipotence, omniscient, omniscience, all knowing, all-knowing, all-powerful, all powerful, creator, creators, psychiatrists, psychiatry, shrink, shrinks, therapist, therapists, meaning of life, lord, the almighty, the creator, deity, divine being, heaven, psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, psychoanalysis, angel, angels
"God lives in the eternal present. The gift that keeps on giving."
"How do you know how old God is?"
"Hey! Shut that door!"
God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.
Tags:tower viewer, tower viewers, binocular, binoculars, angel, angels, god, lord, change, spare change, boss, bosses, inconvenience, inconvenience, inconvenient, spy, spies, spying, omniscient, omniscience, all-seeing, all-knowing, omnipotent, omnipotence, pushy, expectant, tourism, tourist, tourists, view, views, spectacular view, spectacular views
How's My Omnipotence? 1-800-CREATOR
"That's right, son. God knew everything before Google."
"I'm taking it all with me. I created everything, and it's mine."
"Global positioning satellites. That's how God always knows where you are."
"Let's get one thing clear, I'm the one who causes bad things to happen to good people!"
"I'm not sure I liked your tone when you addressed me as 'Mr. Know-It-All'."
'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'
'Because He owns controlling interest. That's why God's omnipotent.'
'He follows your tweets. That's how God knows everything you do.'
"Oh mighty, all-powerful, all-seeing God...why hast thou forsaken us?"
"Son, I've been asking you for 5 days now to water the Earth! "
'Stop me if you've heard this before.'
'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'
'He's in charge of the remote control. That's how God sees everything.'