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"For someone who's supposed to be omniscient, I've noticed he calls all the new guys 'buddy.'"
"It's really a waste of ten bucks, since I'm omniscient."
"If, every time I say something, you say 'tell me something I don't already know' I'm just going to stop talking to you."
God finds all the prayers of mankind in his spam folder.
"It's your browser. You forgot to floss."
Tags:floss, flossing, forgot to floss, tooth floss, teeth flossing, browser, broswers, cookie, cookies, internet privacy, privacy, data privacy, data protection, data security, information privacy, ai, artificial intelligence, computer, computers, technology, technologies, omnipotent, omniscient, dental care, personal hygiene
"Remember when we were kids and thought adults knew everything?"
Tags:kid, kids, seesaw, seesaws, playground, playgrounds, maturity, immature, see-saw, see-saws, adults, adulthood, family life, family-life, childhood, childhoods, perspectives, perspective, omnipotent, ominpotence, omniscience, omniscient, knowledge, font of knowledge, intellect, intelligence, growing pains, growing up, maturing, maturity, wisdom
"Hey, that's just one omniscient guy's opinion."
"When you have all the answers, what's left?"
Tags:god, omnipotent, omnipotence, omniscient, omniscience, all knowing, all-knowing, all-powerful, all powerful, creator, creators, psychiatrists, psychiatry, shrink, shrinks, therapist, therapists, meaning of life, lord, the almighty, the creator, deity, divine being, heaven, psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, psychoanalysis, angel, angels
Jesus looking at a 'you are here' map.
'But if He's omniscient, wouldn't praying just annoy him?'
God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.
Tags:tower viewer, tower viewers, binocular, binoculars, angel, angels, god, lord, change, spare change, boss, bosses, inconvenience, inconvenience, inconvenient, spy, spies, spying, omniscient, omniscience, all-seeing, all-knowing, omnipotent, omnipotence, pushy, expectant, tourism, tourist, tourists, view, views, spectacular view, spectacular views
"That's right, son. God knew everything before Google."
'I've lost a little faith in his all-knowing magnificence now I know his first name is Kevin.'
"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."
"Global positioning satellites. That's how God always knows where you are."
"I'm not sure I liked your tone when you addressed me as 'Mr. Know-It-All'."
'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'
'Because He owns controlling interest. That's why God's omnipotent.'
"When Jesus looks at me, it's like he knows what I'm thinking."
'He follows your tweets. That's how God knows everything you do.'
"Oh mighty, all-powerful, all-seeing God...why hast thou forsaken us?"
"We learned in Sunday School today that God uses illegal surveillance techniques."
Tags:sunday school, sunday schools, god, religious education, surveillance, watch, watches, watching you, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, all-knowing, all-seeing, omniscient, omnipotent, conception of god, conceptions of god, illegal surveillance, illegal surveillance technique, illegal surveillance techniques
'Stop me if you've heard this before.'
'He's in charge of the remote control. That's how God sees everything.'