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"It's the mark of Cain, but it's benign."
"The results show your masculinity to be benign, but let's keep an eye on it."
'I'd better run some tests... It could be cancer.'
"Hop? Jig? Dance? You're a dancer? Sounds like? Prancer? Cancer? Cancer! I got cancer!"
"Anyhoo, it's malignant."
"No, I'm an ocologist, as in a cancer doctor. Not an on-call-ogist! Stop calling me!"
An Oncologist at work and on days off at home
"Although it's nothing serious, let's keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't turn into a major lawsuit."
"Unfortunately these tests show that the test you've just had has caused cancer."
"I'm going to refer you to an ankhologist."
"We found traces of conscience, fortunately we caught it early."
'I'm afraid it's cancer...And not the good kind.'
'That does it. . . Little Freddie is not going to law school! He's going to become an oncologist, Mary a gerontologist and Stevie a pharmacist! We'll be covered!'
"Cancer is in Leo, but I think we caught it in time."