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'He never starts surgery until he can play the game three times in a row without messing up.'
'I hate it when we operate on malpractice lawyers.'
'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'
'That's is. Keep your finger on there until I have this knot tied.'
'What the... there's the gold earring I lost when we did his triple bypass four years ago.'
'Please turn off all cell phones & personal electronics during this surgeons.'
'Dave? This diploma is from Uncle Willie's 21 day College of Neurology, this is an award for second prize in a bowling tournament, and this is for third prize in a pig-calling contest.'
'Yes, this is a bad time. I'm operating on a patient 4,500 miles away.'
"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"
"Let me know when you want to start the operation."
Tags:check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, experimental, experiment, drug, surgeon, surgeons, doctor, doctors, clinic, clinics, hospital, hospitals, get well, get well soon, spin, spin doctor, operation, operating, operating theater, operating theatre, operate, operates, bar, bars, bar flies, bar fly, bar-flies, bar-fly, mentally prepared, prepared
I think the surgery went well. I'll know more when I hear from the billing department.
'Oh good... Here comes the anesthesiologist now.'
Hipness Replacement Surgery.
'You're lucky. In my day the doctor beat you with a stick until your appendix fell out.'
'85% recover with no complications, 60% of the remaining 15% will have a slower recovery rate, and the remaining 40% of the 15% may need additional treatment.'
'Now why did I come in here?'
'According to the films, it appears I've left an instrument inside you. Luckily, I can fix that in Photoshop.'
'We'll just mill around till he's asleep, and then send him back up. This operation is actually for a placebo effect.'
'He's hearing impaired.'
'Sleep well, Mrs. Krantz. When you wake up again your heart will be as good as new!'
'Yours is an elective surgery, so we're still deciding if we feel like doing it or not.'
'Maybe these weren't the best choices for Halloween costumes.'
Machine Wipes Sweat From Surgeon's Brow.
'Don't you hate it when there are parts left over?'