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"Simple stone tool."
Tags:surgery, surgeon, doctor, doctors, simple, primitive, primitives, caveman, cavemen, neolithic, stone age, stone ages, operation, operations, ineffective, medicine, blunt, inefficient, ineffectual, comparison, similar, similarity, modern, prehistoric, primeval, ancient, history, prehistory, historical, prehistorical, operating table, medicine, medical
'Dave? This diploma is from Uncle Willie's 21 day College of Neurology, this is an award for second prize in a bowling tournament, and this is for third prize in a pig-calling contest.'
"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."
Tags:doctor, doctors, patients, hospitals, operating table, operating tables, operations, operating theatre, operating theatres, health care, healthcare, patient, hospital, operation, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, physician, physicians, quick recovery, quick recoveries, speedy recovery, speedy recoveries
Patient takes selfie with surgeons before surgery.
Tags:surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, selfie, selfies, photo, photos, photograph, photographs, phone, phones, mobile, phone, mobile scrub, scrubs, scrub cap, scrub caps, phones, patient, patients, operating, room, operating rooms, operating table, general anaesthesia, general anaesthetic, doctor, doctors, smile, smiles, smiling
"I can catch-you can't throw."
Tags:doctor, doctors, medical doctor, medical doctors, m.d.s, md, mds, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, heart surgery, operating room, operating table, throw and catch, ball games, high stakes, vital organs, organ transplant, organ transplants, black humour, ball game, irresponsible, throwing, malpractice, mal-practice, dying, operating theater, operating theatre, immature, immaturity, immoral, immorality, thoughtless, thoughtlessness
'Yes, this is a bad time. I'm operating on a patient 4,500 miles away.'
'Sleep well, Mrs. Krantz. When you wake up again your heart will be as good as new!'
"He fought like hell."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, surgery, surgeries, in surgery, operation, operations, operating room, operating rooms, operating theatre, operating theatres, operating theater, operating theaters, surgeon, surgeons, doctor, doctors, operating table, operating tables, emergency room, emergency room, dying, fighting, fighter, fighters, box, boxing, boxer, boxers, nunchuck, nunchucks, nunchaku, nunchakus, numchuck, numchucks
A jack in the box pops out on the operating table.
Tags:operating table, operating tables, operating room, operating rooms, surgery, surgeries, surgical procedure, surgical procedures, jack-in-the-box, toy, toys, children's toy, children's toys, surprise, surprises, surprising, caught off guard, off-guard, unprepared, startle, startles, startling, startled, surgeon, surgeons, doctor, doctors, wind-up toy, wind-up toys, scare, scares, scaring
'Don't you hate it when there are parts left over?'
'I'm transferring you to Dr. Lipschitz for your liver transplant... I hate liver!'
Brain surgery sneeze - 'Gesundheit...!'
'Scalpel, dammit! Scalpel!'
'How's the spleen?' 'The spleen? Where is it?' 'I never studied the spleen.' 'I was left back in my spleen class.' 'I failed spleen.' 'I thought we didn't have to know the spleen.'
"There's gotta be an easier way to get candy from a baby."
Tags:candy from a baby, surgery, surgeons, operations, operation, operating, expression, expressions, theft, thief, thieves, steal, stealing, rob, robber, robbers, robbing, baby, babies, infant, infants, operating table, operating theater, operating theatre, candy, candy bar, candy bars, sweet, sweets, confectionery, idiom, idioms, misinterpretation, ease, easy, misunderstanding, mix-up, mix up, confused, confusion
"Why isn't that light on me, nurse? Do I need to remind you who the real star is here?"
'I don't care what your mother always told you. The way to this man's heart isn't through his stomach!'
'Sponge diving, Bob?'
Sword rises, Excalibur like, from body of patient undergoing operation.
Tags:operation, operating theatre, operating theater, operating table, hospital, hospitals, surgeon, surgeons, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, surgical, surgical procedure, excalibur, surgeon's knife, under the knife, unexpected occurrence, unlikely event, arthurian myth, arthurian myths, king arthur
'We're sorry about the mix-up Mr. Frawley. However, there's a Patricia Frawley here also, and we must have accidentally switched your files.'
Things you don't want to hear or why they make sure you're asleep
Surgeon and Fishmonger
"Not responding to a knock-knock joke isn't proof he's unconscious."
Tags:kwarky, anesthesiologist, anesthesiologists, anaesthetist, anaesthetists, knock-knock, joke, jokes, unconscious, out cold, doctor, doctors, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, hospital, hospitals, operating table, operating room, emergency room, pain, medical, physician, anesthesia, patient, pain relief, nurse, proof, evidence, pain management, technology, medical, procedure, painkiller, painkillers
'Hear that, Daniels, he just said 'malarky'. See if you can get him to say 'sassafras' ha ha ha.'
Tags:malarky, sassafras, tree, trees, extinction, extinct, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, surgeries, sedative, sedatives, operating theatre, operating theatres, operating table, operating tables, talking, talk, talks, sleep, sleeping, sleeps, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater