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Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."
'New glasses often hurt at first Tom.'
'You haven't been eating your carrots, have you?'
Sheep eye test: Bah bah bah...
'I've tried your opthalmoscope on every patient this month, all I ever see is bright light!"
'My eyesight was getting worse, but thanks to my new glasses, I can play 'Monkey see, Monkey do' again...'
I believe there is something wrong with Tommy: He has perfect eyesight...
"Everything I see looks like a website captcha. I'm either having vision problems, or I'm spending too much time online."
"I see a lot of this. Your eyes are stuck in a down position -- try not to look down at your phone so much."
"Those visions of sugar plums aren't an eye problem. You're just in the holiday spirit."