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'It's a bird, it's a plane...it's superman! Oh brother, a bird and a plane aren't even close to the same size...I really need some new glasses.'
To appease the fans, major-league umpires are now required to take eye exams during the seventh inning stretch.
Eye Test Writer's Block.
Optimistic Optometry: Sale Rose-colored glasses.
'You really need glasses, dear. You're starting to annoy me.'
'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'
'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'
Priest getting stained glass glasses.
'Your hindsight is no longer 20/20.'
E-Y-E patients only.
'Great job! Now cover the other eye.'
"My laser eye surgery was expensive but worth every penny."
Tags:laser surgery, laser surgeries, surgery, surgeries, penny, pennies, value, astigmatism, eye doctor, eye doctors, optometrist, optometrists, optometry, optician, opticians, laser, lasers, laser pointer, laser pointers, cat, cats, feline, felines, ophthalmology, ophthalmologist, opthalmologists, cat lover, cat lovers, cat person, cat people, bargain, bargains
'This retinal camera is great, but at the price you'd think they'd include a cup holder!'
"It's either conjunctivitis or twin pools of desire."
Tags:conjunctivitis, pink eye, diagnosis, diagnoses, eye, eyes, eye doctor, eye doctors, optician, opticians, optometrist, optometrists, optometry, ophthalmologist, ophthalmologists, ophthalmology, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, infection, infections, poet, poets, poetry, pretty eyes, beautiful eyes, attractive, attraction, attractions, twin pools, desire, desires
"Well looks like it's time for eye glasses."
George Washington's Birthday
Tags:george, washington, abraham, lincoln, politics, politician, politicians, political, political leader, political leaders, government, governments, president, presidents, doctor, doctors, eye doctor, eye doctors, optician, opticians, optometrists, optometrist, ophthalmologist, ophthalmologists, vision, eye sight, eye exam, eye examination, eye chart, eye charts, birthday, birthdays, founding father, honest abe, 16th president, 1st president
The Queen of the Night goes to the optometrist
Superhero in need of an eye test.
Tags:eyesight, farsighted, farsightedness, bad eyesight, poor eyesight, nearsighted, nearsightedness, short sighted, long sighted, eye test, eye tests, optician, opticians, superhero, superheroes, superpower, superpowers, super power, super powers, hero, heroes, accident, accidents, unprofessional, eye doctor, eye doctors, fatal mistake, fatal mistakes
Old MacDonald Had An Optometrist
Tags:optometrist, optometrists, optometry, optician, opticians, eye doctor, eye doctors, eye-doctor, eye-doctors, eye chart, eye charts, eye test, eye tests, eye exam, eye exams, eye examination, eye examinations, sight test, sight tests, sight chart, sight charts, old macdonald had a farm, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, nursery song, nursery songs
I am an insane eye doctor and I am going to kill you now...
Tags:optometrist, optometrists, optometry, eye doctor, eye doctors, eyedoctor, eyedoctors, eye-doctor, eye-doctors, optician, opticians, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, crimes, psychopath, psychopaths, sociopath, sociopaths, eye chart, eye charts, eye test, eye tests, eye exam, eye exams, eye examination, eye examinations, knife attack, knife attacks
"It's a very mild prescription but these Italian frames seem to have a placebo effect"
Fortune Teller and Ophthalmologists: 'See the Future' and 'See the Present.'
Ok, Mr. Lipshy... What about now? Better or worse?
'I told you not to wear your new contacts for more than 12 hours a day.'
'Yes, normally, carrots are good for you eyes, but in your case they only increase your sense of smell.'