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Ornithological studies performed by Dr. Worthington proved definitively that 4 out of 5 birds prefer apples to windows.
Tags:experiment, experiments, apple, apples, apple tree, apple trees, orchard, orchards, bird, birds, wild bird, wild birds, naturalist, naturalists, scientist, scientists, observation, observe, observes, proof, evidence, window, windows, birdwatching, bird watcher, bird watchers, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.
Tags:apple, apples, worm, worms, maggot, maggots, fruit, fruits, apple tree, apple trees, red delicious, breed, breeds, gardener, gardeners, garden, gardens, orchard, orchards, teen, teens, teenager, teenagers, spot, sports, pimple, pimples, acne, skin, dance, dances prom, proms, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"I'm taking out two acres of pecan trees and putting in a fifteen-thousand-square-foot colonic-irrigation facility."
Tags:pecan, pecans, pecan tree, pecan trees, colonic, colonics, colonic irrigation, high colonic, high colonics, colon cleansing, colon cleansing, colon cleaned, profit, profits, farmer, farmers, farm, farms, new age, new age medicine, new age medicines, toxic, toxicity, orchard, orchards, irrigate, irrigates, irrigating, irrigation, profit motive, profit motives, profit motivation
'It's nice when people give Christmas presents that you appreciate.'
Tags:kid, kids, orchard, orchards, apple tree, apple trees, scrumping, scrumper, scrumpers, apple, apples, childhood, thief, thieves, gardening jargon, gardening term, gardening terms, gardening terminology, green fingers, gardening tip, gardening tips, garden, gardens, gardener, gardeners, thelwell
Take care not to bruise ripe fruit.
Tags:fruit, fruits, ripe fruit, ripe fruits, apple, apples, orchard, orchards, bruised fruit, bruised fruits, fruit picker, fruit pickers, fruit picking, kitchen garden, kitchen gardens, fruit garden, fruit gardens, crop, crops, gardener, gardeners, garden, gardens, gardening tip, gardening tips, thelwell
Hand pollenate your fruit trees
Tags:fruit tree, tree, trees, fruit trees, hand pollinate, hand pollinating, orchard, orchards, pollen, pollinating, horticulture, gardeners' calendar, gardening calendar, gardeners calendar, gardening advice, green fingers, gardening tip, gardening tips, garden, gardens, gardener, gardeners, thelwell
A Heavy Cropper
Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.
Attend to wall climbers...clear out exhausted annuals.
Tags:gardener, gardeners, garden, gardens, gardening tip, garden tip, garden tips, gardening tip, gardening tips, lawn, lawns, lawn maintenance, garden maintenance, lawn, lawns, green fingers, green fingered, hobby, wall climber, wall climbers, wall climbing, pest control, pest controls, scrumping, apple scrumping, orchard, orchards, apple harvest, apple harvests, thelwell
'I'm bored. . . how long until arbor day?'
"Maybe next time we can go mine our own salt."
Tags:sarcastic, sarcasm, pick your own, apple, apples, fruit, fruits, fresh, family, families, salt, salts, diy, do it yourself, apple picking, fruit picking, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, day out, day-out, days out, days-out, family vacation, over the top, ott, reductio ad absurdum, fruit farm, orchard, orchards
"Well it doesn't say, son, whether it was a Winesap, a Red Delicious or a Gala."
'There's no known remedy yet but in three years time you should start bearing fruit.'
Scrumping Apples: Then & Now.
"Did you raise these yourself?"
"That tree looks very under-nourished. I'd be surrpised if it could yield one pound of apples."
"How old are these apples?"
"I dread the pear-picking season."
'What did you do with the apple I gave you yesterday?'
Johnny Appleseed's less popular brother, Joey Kiwi.
Johnny Appleseed's Dirty Little Secret
Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'
Tags:show and tell, organic, organics, wholesome, natural, nature, natures, nature's, growth, vegetable, vegetables, fruit, fruits, orchard, orchards, kitchen garden, kitchen gardens, organic garden, organic farm, green fingers, green fingered, food scare, show & tell, mix up, mix ups, misunderstandings
'The biggest problem in this business is convincing your wife that money doesn't grow on trees.'