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"Hello there. I'm the bluebird of Orthodox Judaism. What do you say you get up, you put on t'fillin and you daven this morning?"
"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."
Reform, Conservative and Orthodox gasoline.
Tags:hasid, hasidism, hasidic judaism, hasidic, conservative, conservatives, orthodox, orthodox jew, choice, choices, option, options, sect, sects, religious sect, religious sects, jewish, judaism, gas, gasoline, petrol, fuel, fuels, gas station, gas stations, octane, octanes, dilemma, dilemmas, group identification
"Sheldon is having a mid-life crisis. He can't decide whether to remain Reform, become Orthodox or return to conservative
Tags:mid life crisis, mid life crises, mid-life crisis, mid-life crises, life choices, big decision, big decisions, judaism, orthodox jew, conservative jew, conservative jews, reform judaism, jewish denominations, existential crisis, existential crises, liberal judaism, progressive judaism, changing denomination, changing denominations, middle age, middle aged
"Which section do you wish to sit in—Davening or Non-Davening?"
Tags:religion, religions, orthodox judaism, judaism, jewish, orthodox, jew, jews, orthodox jew, daven, davening, yiddish, pray, prayer, prayers, praying, airline, airlines, flying, air travel, flying, section, sections, seat, seats, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, airport, airports, customer service, service, travel, travelling, traveling
"So exactly when did you first experience this craving for a corned beef sandwich on white bread with mayonnaise and a glass of milk?"
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, food, dietary law, dietary laws, religious law, religious laws, religious, religion, jewish, kosher, unkosher, kashrut, judaism, jew, jews, orthodox judaism, orthodox jew, symptom, symptoms, craving, cravings, corned beef, white bread, mayo, mayonnaise, milk
"Hava Nagila" go-round.
Two Jewish temples on a desert island: one advertises it's "Orthodox congregation" while the other advertises it's "Reform Congregation".
Tags:judaism, jewish, orthodox judaism, orthodox jew, reform judaism, reform jew, reform jews, temple, temples, synagogue, synagogues, relaxed, strict, informal, formal, desert island, desert islands, choice, choices, congregation, congregations, religious politics, religious, religion, shpasik, jtoons
All Visitors Must Be Orthodox
Tags:jew, jews, jewish, judaism, religion, religions, religious, orthodox, orthodox jew, visitor, visitors, visiting, visit, hotel, hotels, guesthouse, guesthouses, apartment, apartments, flat, flats, penthouses, rich, rich people, wealth, wealthy people, money, doorman, doormen, traditional, conservative
At the age of 39, Sidney Sussman became undeniable aware of his Jewishness
"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"
Shmeuly's car turns 13.
Bornstein's - Fine Fashions for Jewish Men
"I'm not beached. I just don't swim on Saturdays."
Tags:sabbath, the sabbath, shabbat, rest, rests, resting, orthodox, tradition, traditional, orthodox jew, whale, whales, beach, beached, beaches, beached whale, hasidic, hasidic jew, jewish, hasidic jews, custom, customs, religion, religions, religious, judaism, saturday, fish, fishes, ocean, oceans, sea, seas, play on words, word play, shpasik, jtoons
Reb Berel had always been proud of his beard...until Reb Feivel arrived.
For the sake of his back, Moishy wished he could just buy lunch in the cafeteria.
"You didn't tell anyone that we're going to Israel did you?"
Torah reading on the subway.
The Haimishe Hairdresser
Tags:jewish, orthodox jew, orthodox jews, hairdressers, haircut, haircuts, hairstyle, hairstyles, religious clothes, religious clothing, religious dress, curl, curler, curlers, hairdresser, curls, hair, beards, sidelock, sidelocks, sidecurl, sidecurls, payot, pe'ot, peyot, payos, peyos, peyois, payois, judaism, jewish, jew, jews
'You've waited long enough, Max. Get yourself circumcised already.'
Some men find not shaving or cutting their hair during sefira particularly challenging.
'I don't care where you lost your yarmulke, if you don't find it I'm not bringing you here again.'