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I'm trying to get in touch with Head office!
'Before sending these ideas I have to the boss, run them past legal, my Ouija board and my magic 8 ball.'
"It's like texting, but for dead people."
Tags:occult, occultist, ouija, ouija board, board, spirit, spirits, ghost, ghosts, the dead, dead, death, died, die, dying, curse, cursed, demon, demons, demonic, parenting, parent, parents, kid, kids, child, childhood, children, kids these days, text, texting, cell, cells, cell phones, phone, phones, mobile, mobiles, mobile phones, daughter, daughters, supernatural, superstitious, superstition, superstitions, text, texts, gadget, gadgets, old world, new world, modern, modern life
"I'll check and see if he's available."
Tags:receptionist, receptionists, secretary, secretaries, operator, operators, phone operator, phone operators, office manager, office managers, gatekeeper, gatekeepers, ouija board, ouija boars, ouija, spirit, spirits, ghost, ghosts, talking to the dead, dead, death, executive assistant, executive assistants, assistant, assistants, administrative assistant, administrative assistants, office life, office culture, office, offices, unavailable, hold my calls, avoid, avoiding, avoidance, call screener, call screening
'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'
"IDEOMOTOREFFECT. See! I told you."
Tags:ideomotor, ideomotor effect, ideomotor phenomenon, ideomotor phenomena, ouija, ouija board, ouija boards, wigi board, wigi boards, ghost, ghosts, medium, mediums, psychic, psychics, seance, seances, spirit, spirits, spook, spooks, halloween, spiritualist, spiritualists, spiritualism, clairvoyant, clairvoyants, clairvoyance, skeptic, skeptics, skeptical, debunk, debunking, debunker, debunkers, paranormal, pseudoscience, psychology, psychologist, science, atheist, atheists, mind tricks
'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'
"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."
Tags:hereafter, wifi, wi-fi, wifi connection, wifi connections, wireless connection, wireless connections, internet connection, internet connections, ouija board, ouija boards, clairvoyant, clairvoyants, medium, mediums, communicating with the dead, spiritualist, spiritualists, spirit board, spirit boards
'That's what happens when the wife buys a cheap coffin.'
'Ray, I think you may have a winning lottery ticket in the pants you were buried in...'
'That's right, Peters... Cancel ALL of my appointments, buy a Ouija board, and learn how to use it. I'll be in touch.'
Ouija board speaks recorded options
'Is anybody there?'
After a few glasses of wine the girls started playing around with a Luigi board.
'I felt the glass move!'
"We'll start by typing in - IS THERE ANYBODY THERE - then click SEARCH" (Modern day seance using laptops)
'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'
Seances of the future
'I've got through to the spirit world. Please be quiet whilst I listen to a list of options.'
'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'
Spiritual Show Observed by the Grim Reaper.
"I think you are meant to delegate"
'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'
The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.
'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'