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"We are not buying a refrigerator with a learning curve."
This Week's Winning Numbers
Dan Quayle's Three Steps to a Better America
"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"
"Well yes, Simson. I suppose another way of putting it is 'buy low, sell high.'"
"Do you have a phone that doesn't do too much?"
"Chapter Eleven is, in reality, only chapter one."
"I'm looking for a TV with a remote that has fewer buttons than my age."