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"Lately I've been blowing things way out of proportion."
"My day? One amazing slam-dunk after another."
"I know, I know you're recorded—but that doesn't alter the fact that I love you!"
"Overqualified? But my resume is 100% fake news!"
"Frankly Carl, as an artist you're not very good. In fact, I'd say that you're worse than Hitler."
"Don't wait supper for me, Mom. I'll be detained."