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Customer: 'I've got a complaint. This laptop doesn't fit my lap!'
"Your skin is enlarged."
'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'
"Yeah, but for a fat guy who doesn't exercise I'm in pretty good shape."
Tags:eat, eating, diet, diets, fitness, fit, fitter, exercise, exercising, exercises, exercised, physical fitness, physically fit, middle-age, middle age, middle aged, obese, obesity, morbidly obese, morbid obesity, xxl, food, foodie, obesity epidemic, fat, overweight, weight, weightloss, weight loss, weight-loss, good shape, in shape, irony, ironic, dramatic irony, bad shape, out of shape, healthy, health and wellbeing
"Keep it open."
Tags:hot dog, hot dogs, hot dog stand, hot dog stands, hot dog vendor, vendor, vendors, street vendor, street vendors, street cart, street carts, cart, carts, street meats, open tab, open tabs, opening a tab, bar, bars, bartender, bartenders, fatty food, fatty foods, junk food, fast food, foodie, foodies, appetite, appetites, big appetite, big appetites, binge, binges, binge eater, binge eaters, binge eating, overeat, overeats, overeating, overweight, fat shame, fat shames, fat shaming
"Just sitting here widening. You?"
Doctor: 'Your discomfort may well be a bandwidth issue.'
"I'll be on the main drag, turning a few heads."
Tags:looker, lookers, stunner, stunners, stunning, attractive, attractiveness, outfit, outfits, head turner, head turners, turning heads, delusion, delusions, delusional, self-confident, self-confidence, confident, confidence, pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, unattractive, overconfident, overconfidence, overweight, fat shame, fat shames, fat shaming
'Good morning, and welcome to Sunshine Cruise Line's 14-day weight-loss cruise.'
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, middle management, hierarchy, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, fat, fat shaming, weight, body weight, overweight, obese, obesity, obesity crisis, chubby, beer belly, beer bellies, losing weight, weightloss, weight loss, middle, middles, stomach, stomachs, managing, fitness, health, wordplay, word play
"Was I upset when you gave me a full day of beauty?"
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, bad relationship, bad relationships, fitness, unfit, exercise, exercising, exercise machine, exercise machine, insult, insults, overweight, over-weight, criticism, criticising, gift, gifts, christmas, christmas time, christmas gift, christmas gifts, present, presents, christmas presents, christmas present
"You'll have to be X-rayed, Mr. Jensen. I seem to be picking up Rush Limbaugh."
Tags:rush limbaugh, overweight, right wing, talk radio, conservative, conservatives, republican, republicans, republican party, partisan, partisans, partisanship, heart problem, heart problems, heart attack, heart attacks, clogged arteries, stethoscope, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, gain weight, gains weight, gaining weight, rush, worry, worries, diagnosis, reason to worry, reasons to worry, heart attack risk, heart attack risks
"That's great, but you still have to walk more."
Tags:superhero, superheroes, superpower, superpowers, super power, super powers, hero, heroes, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, md, mds, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioner, clinic, clinics, check up, medical check up, check ups, medical check ups, advice, health advice, exercise, exercising, unfit, unfitness, overweight, obesity, obese, unhealthy, unhealthiness
'It's true that the flavanoids in chocolate can help reduce platelet activation and influence the balance of eicosanoids...but that is not a justification for me to prescribe you a daily dose of 'choco' mini eggs.'
'Let me put your cholesterol levels in terms you'll understand. If they were your bowling scores, you'r be making a fortune on the pro tour.'
'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'
"Walter has decided to add years to his life."
Tags:medical, medicine, weight, overweight, fat, obese, obesity, obesity crisis, unhealthy, health, exercise, exercising, fitness, working out, losing weight, getting in shape, get in shape, weight-loss, weightloss, watch weight, add years, lose years, life, age, aging, ageing, middle age, middle aged, middle-age, middle-aged, mid-life crisis, midlife crisis, old age, getting older, getting old, growing old, growing older, extend your life, add years to your life
"Be honest- how much are you exercising?"
Tags:doctor, doctors, md, mds, m.d.s, m.d., gp, gps, g.p.s, g.p., general practitioner, general practitioners, exercise, exercising, no exercise, unfit, overweight, obese, medical check up, obesity, medical check ups, clinic, clinics, doctors clinic, doctors clinics, doctor's clinic, doctor's clinics, hospital, hospitals, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments
Too Skinny, Too Fat
'You need more calcium.'
"You're hyper nourished."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, diagnosis, fat, overweight, obese, obesity, obesity crisis, nutrition, eating, eating habits, dietary habits, overeating, unhealthy, politically correct, political correctness, wordplay, word play
"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."
Tags:skinny-dipping, skinny-dipper, skinny-dippers, skinnydipping, skinnydipper, skinnydippers, skinny dipper, skinny dippers, skinny dipping, love life, love-life, denial, weight problem, weight problems, overweight, love is blind, girlfriend, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, skinny, fat, fatness, plump, plumpness
"Does my body make me look fat?"
Everyone's heard of the stairway to heaven, but most people don't know it was actually built to keep the fatties out.
"I love the sense of danger that comes with brushing up against childhood obesity."
Tags:fastfood, fast food, child, childhood, children, kid, kids, family, families, health, health and wellbeing, healthy, wellbeing, fitness, physical, fit, fat, fatness, fatter, fats, chips, chip, crisp, crisps, sweet, sweets, candy, candies, obese, obesity, weight loss, weight, weightloss, overweight, over weight, epidemic, obesity epidemic, comment, social commentary