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A panda waiting for bamboo juice
"I just sent you a friend request."
Tags:panda, pandas, bear, bears, technology, phone, phones, smartphone, smartphones, mobile phone, mobile phones, social media, online presence, online presences, online account, real life interaction, irl, reality, zoo, zoologist, zoologists, zoology, zoos, friend request, friend requests, request, requested, requesting, requests, superficial, superficialness, software designer, software designers, anyone can use, software design
"If you pay enough, they'll let you swim with whatever animal you want."
Tags:tourism, tourist, tourists, travel, travelling, traveller, travellers, traveling, traveler, travelers, vacation, vacations, vacationer, vacationers, holiday, holidays, break, breaks, swimming, swim, swimmer, swimmers, rich, wealth, wealthy, money, pay, cost, costs, fee, fees, expensive, dolphin, dolphins, swimming with dolphins, panda, pandas, giant panda, giant pandas, panda bear, panda bears, animal, animals, resort, resorts, animal rights
"I fear there are only so many bamboo metaphors the average reader can tolerate."
Tags:interview, interviews, interviewer, interviewee, interview skills, interview skill, get hired, hired, hiree, hiring, hires, new hire, new hires, panda, pandas, talking animal, talking animals, job, jobs, new job, new jobs, working world, work, world of work, editorial, editor, editors, censor, censorship, metaphor, metaphors, puns, pun, overused, overuse, over used, over use, bamboo, bamboo joke, panda, pandas, cute, cute animals, manuscript, manuscripts, agent, agents, rejection, reject, rejected, book, books, bookish, book worm, book worms
"Say, we pandas are cute!"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, panda, pandas, panda bear, panda bears, china, cute, adorable, reflection, reflections, admiring, narcissism, narcissistic, narcissist, narcissists, vain, self-esteem, self-confidence, ego, egotistic, egotistical, beauty, attractiveness, body image
'Two black eyes. Solitary. Lethargic. Definitely in the DSM-V.'
"Hi! .... I've been asked to introduce myself. I'm Todd ... from the Denver Zoo."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, panda, pandas, panda bear, panda bears, love, romance, romancing, courting, pick-up line, pickup line, pickup lines, pick up line, pick up lines, introductions, introducing, relationship, relationships, dating, mate, mates, reproduction, breeding, science, biology, attracting a mate, zoo, zoos, first meeting, first meetings
'Keep still, this won't hurt a bit.'
"Look, until there's a Tinder for pandas, we have to meet the old-fashioned way: being locked in a room together by scientists."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, panda, pandas, panda bear, panda bears, bear, bears, endangered, endangers species, endangered animal, endangered animals, saving the panda, saving pandas, saving the species, science, scientists, scientists, biology, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories, zoo, zoos, zoology, zoologist, zoologists, zookeeper, zookeepers, mate, mates, reproduction, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, dating, date, dates, online dating, internet dating, dating app, dating apps, dating application, dating applications, social media, social networking, social network, social networks, swiping right, swiping left, old-fashioned, old-fashioned way, meet, meeting, locked in a room, modern life, finding a partner
"I don't know, we never want to mate, we only eat one thing...what're we, trying to go extinct?"
"Your mascara is running."
"I felt endangered."
Tags:crime scene, crime scenes, murder, murders, excuse, excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, self defence, panda, pandas, giant panda, giant pandas, endangered species, self defense, justification, justifications, shoot out, shoot outs, defendant, the defendant, conservation, panda conservation, conservationist, conservationists
"Well, this is getting us exactly nowhere."
Tags:panda, pandas, panda bear, panda bears, science, scientist, scientists, bear, bears, observation, observing, taking notes, note taking, zoologist, zoologists, zoo, zoos, anthropomorphize, anthropomorphise, breeding program, breeding programs, conservation program, conservation programs, conservationist, conservationists
'The keepers will be in soon - we better get back to the straw and bamboo.'
"Stop sending him to the copier. You know how hard it is for him to reproduce."
Tags:panda, pandas, panda bear, panda bears, mate, mates, reproduce, reproducing, reproduction, reproductions, copy machine, copy machines, copier, copiers, photocopy, photocopies, office equipment, learning curve, learning curves, difficulty, difficulties, malfunction, malfunctions, malfunctioning, office equipment
'See what happens when you feed the bears.'
'These business meetings are like panda matings...The expectations are always high, but the results are usually disappointing.'
Chinese Panda Bear: 'It hurts!'
Don't you just hate having to be cute all the time.
Save me versus Feed me.
"It's not the captivity – I'm just not sure if I'm ready to have kids."
'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'
"Look, you always hated the wicker furniture and bamboo is scarce, so consider it a win-win."
'Apparently it's the bamboo furniture that attracts them.'