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Litigator's Heaven: 'Would you look at this? No handrails! Man, someone is just asking for a big, fat lawsuit. And don't get me started on the heating system.'
Heaven - with Children
"Talk about heaven - eight francs to the buck and old Binky still a chiselled blonde."
'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'
'I was told that I'd be in a better place now. . . I don't think so.'
"Check it out. Nirvana. And on my phone, no less."
"The wings are fantastic, but the thong is a little uncomfortable."
"Wait a minute! I didn't say we were going to Tahiti!"
Tags:tahiti, tahitian, tahitians, idyll, idyllic, gauguin, paul gauguin, impressionist, impressionists, post-impressionist, post-impressionists, artist, artists, modern art, modern artist, modern artists, dance, dances, dancing, caribbean, remote island, remote islands, paradise, move, moves, moving, move abroad, move abroad, moving abroad
"I think Italian is spoken in Heaven and Dutch is spoken in Hell."
"In heaven you can pee on the carpet."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking dog, talking dogs, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, religion, religious, death, after death, life after death, afterlife, heaven, doggie heaven, doggy heaven, pet heaven, rainbow bridge, carpet, carpets, paradise
"I don't like to complain, but he should've created some jobs, too."
Tags:religion, religions, religious, creation, creationism, creationist, genesis, garden of eden, eden, original sin, sins, eve, adam, god, gods, christian, christianity, christians, the bible, bible, biblical, paradise, garden of paradise, job, jobs, work, working, employment, unemployment, bored, boring, dissatisfied, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints, human nature, stagnate, stagnant
"Just who does He think He is?!!"
Tags:religion, religions, religious, creation, creationism, creationist, genesis, garden of eden, eden, original sin, sins, eve, adam, god, gods, christian, christianity, christians, the bible, bible, biblical, paradise, garden of paradise, symbolic, symbol, symbols, exile, exiled, who does he think he is
Life on cloud 8
"Here he is, folks, straight from his deathbed in Jersey City, a beautiful guy—let's hear a nice round of applause for . . ."
Tags:deathbed, terminal, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, heaven, heavenly, heavens, heavenly gates, pearly gates, st peter, peter, saint, saints, angel, angels, angelic, angelically, religious, god, gods, lord, religions, religious imagery, st. peter, the heavens, after life, after-life, afterlife, life after death, paradise, paradiso, nirvana, condolence, condolences, sympathy, sympathies, introducing, introduction, introductions, introduce, introduced, audience, applause, applaud, applauded, applauding, applauds
"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"
Tags:afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, heaven, heavens, angel, angels, red carpet, red carpets, vip treatment, vip treatments, vip, v.i.p., heavenly gates, pearly gates, saint, saints, celebrity, celebs, celebrities, celeb, paradise, red carpet treatment, fame, famous, expectation, expectations
Crime Scene in the Garden of Eden
Tags:garden of eden, crime scene, crime scenes, paradise, crime-scene, crime-scenes, genesis, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, torah, torahs, old testament, bible, bibles, tree of knowledge, apple, the fall, adam, eve, book of genesis, serpent, serpents, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, eden
'All our operators are busy with customers who don't have an eternity to wait.'
Guy at the gates of heaven but has to go through a maze to get there
'Second fastest gun in the west.'
"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."
Tags:heaven, angel, angels, spa, spas, dying, afterlife, the afterlife, after-life, the after-life, heavenly reward, god, gods, christianity, christians, judaism, jews, complain, complaining, dissatisfied, ungrateful, hotel, hotels, hotel spas, hotel spa, unreasonable, fitness, wellbeing, well-being, well being, day spa, day spas, immortality, paradise, imperfect, imperfection, life after death, afterworld, the afterworld, after world, the after world, after worlds, afterworlds
Please consider the environment before creating another species.
"Now boarding first class and platinum."
Tags:pearly gates, heavenly gates, boarding pass, boarding passes, first class, first classes, platinum, platinum class, elitism, egalitarianism, class divide, elitist, elitists, wealth inequality, social inequality, class system, class systems, afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, paradise, airport, airports, welcome talk
Molecules You Ought To Be Aware of:
"I can't wait for all of our friends to die."
'I died on the first day of the rest of my life.'