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'Oh, it's great. They're always finishing each other's sentences,they wear all the same clothes... course one of them's an idiot.'
'What do you mean he got a C-minus on his report! I was up all night writing that thing!'
Things Not To Tell Your Kid
Tags:raising, raises, growing up, growing-up, grows up, grow up, grow-up, advice, scare, scaring, scares, scared, fear, fearful, frighten, frightens, frightened, story, stories, trick, tricks, learn, learning, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parented, rearing, lies, lie, lied
The Miller's new monsters-under-the-bed access panel helped them to keep their 5-year old from jumping out of bed.'
Concerned that their teenagers weren't studying for their SATs, the Moxleys hired an actor to panhandle on the street near their house.
'Thank you for your unsolicited parenting advice! In return, I'd like to tell you about a method I know for removing those unsightly age spots.'
Thanks to the amazing new Zap-a-Slacker, parents are able to send a mild electrical current to their daydreamy Little Leaguers.
Father's Day in the penguin world.
'I want you to write on the blackboard 100 times: 'I will not make fun of a classmate just because...'
'Your father doesn't have A.D.D He's got D-A-D...'
'What worries me now that we are a parent company is that we'll be treated like parents are...'
'It looks like I'm yet another victim of heredity.'
A dolls house with a working chimney.
'The kids take it very seriously - I'm sure it's their father's fault.'
Baby diapers, adult diapers and just lazy diapers.
Generally speaking, people named Aaron have really lazy parents.
Robin has an awkward moment at her third-grader's open house.
'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'
When his wife was out, Dave liked to perform experiments to measure the power of Danny's burps.
'Are you serious?! Your parents took away all your phone and internet privileges?'
Titanium teenager sealant makes your teen's skin impervious to tattoos and piercings!
For those difficult bedtimes Sheryl relied on the bedtime reel.
'For Peter's Home and Careers class, he has to take care of this computerized doll of a 23-year-old son who won't move out of the house.'
Will accompany your kids on rides so you won't barf - $20.
With the kids' schedules more insane than ever, Carol wisely invested in a chopper.