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'Wally? Do you think I'm a good mother?...So who's going to take the blame for this?'
"You can't judge my parenting skills by what you see in the lobby."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, young kids, young children, toddler, toddlers, infant, infants, terrible twos, terrible 2s, parenting skills, tantrum, tantrums, immature, immaturity, lobby, lobbies, excuse, excuses, making excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses
'We must be great parents...our children all hate us.'
"I thought we agreed not to fight in front of the children."
"Perhaps we should start reading books about having a child."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, parenting book, parenting books, parenting skill, parenting skills, reading material, reader, readers, bookworm, bookworms, family life, family-life, family, newborn, newborns, child, academic, academics, preparation, preparations, intellectual, intellectuals, intellectual approach, intellectual approaches
"It's such a beautiful day. Why aren't you out looting or burning something down like a normal kid?"
"He's still working on his communication skills."
Tags:communication skill, communication skills, semaphore, semaphores, flag signalling system, flag signalling systems, flag signaling system, flag signaling systems, improve, improves, improvement, improvements, improving, parent, parents, parenting, parenting skill, parenting skills, dad, dads, father, fathers, fathering
'Try cutting down on his cling peaches.'
"And if you want to wait, Daddy will make yummy desert when he gets home."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, parenting skills, good parenting, child rearing, kid, kids, child, childhood, upbringing, show off, show offs, showing off, lecturer, lecturers, lecturing, taking notes, advice, giving advice, good advice, multitasking, multitasker, multitaskers, dinner, dinner time
'Wait a second. . . where's his license to parent?'
'Forget that! This is my lifetime get out of jail free card!'
'We're measuring the tub to see how big an alligator we can get!'
Mom Skills: Psychologist, Doctor, Philosopher, Mathematician, Geneticist, Religious, Negotiator, Baker.
'You always told me to be honest.'
'Someone needs to work on their parenting skills!'
'Shoot! I lost him alright. Looks like I've got a hole in my pocket.'
"Am I a bad parent if I had a better Halloween costume than either of my kids?"
"Are you 'Identifying' yourself as Dad, Father, or just a guy who needs a nap?"
'I'm a self-centered 13 year old, and even I know that's ridiculous. Our mom is a person, she needs her own friend and adult life.'
'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'
'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'
'Wally, Max can't have a rubber band gun...I know you made it for him...and you had one when you were a kid...but Max is too young!'
'I read Jane Eyre cover to cover and there are no sex scenes.'
'I took away Max's rubber band gun and now he hates me...maybe if I bribed him with ice cream...'
'I was aiming at mama but she ducked faster than you.'