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"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."
Tags:religion, religious, church, churches, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, sermon, sermons, parish, congregation, congregations, parishioner, parishioners, church-goer, church-goers, sick, sickness, ill, illness, disease, diseases, death, dying, church fund, church funds, donation, donations, offering, offerings, money, punishments, blessing, blessings, money-hungry, greedy, greed, sins, grotesque
'The love of money is the root of all evil? Is that the whole treasurer's report?'
'Don't worry. I'm a church pastor. First little problem, and they'll find me.'
Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.
'Billy, you're embarrassing us. Please stop saying 'ka-ching, ka-ching'.'
"I have one last announcement. This afternoon's meeting on how to improve your organizational skills has been cancelled, due to a lack of planning."
Tags:preacher, preachers, pastor, pastors, vicar, vicars, parish, parishes, organizational skill, organizational skills, organize, organizes, organizing, organise, organises, organising, plan, planning, plan ahead, plans ahead, planning ahead, improve, improves, improvement, workshop, workshops, work shop, work shops, self-improvement
Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'
'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'
Devil in the first pew of church.
"Maybe we should change the name of the parish to something cool, like the Protestants do and add a coffee bar."
Tags:coffee, coffees, coffee bar, coffee bars, protestant, protestants, parishioner, parishioners, protestantism, congregation, congregations, catholic, catholics, catholicism, roman catholic, roman catholics, parish, parishes, church, churches, vicar, vicars, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pr, public relations
'Hey, the Preacher is talking about you Dad.'
Church for sports worshipers.
'We're gonna skip the theatrics today and get right into the Word ...'
Usher about usher with metal detector: 'He's checking for cell phones.'
'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'
Lookalike to man: 'Pastor, I came up to confess to identity theft.'
Sermon about 20 minutes
'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'
'You're a tough congregation.'
Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'
'I've been wrestling with my conscience, Pastor, but now it wants to make it two out of three falls.'