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'I love these senior citizen discounts.'
'You have a slice in your fairway, but you're out of the rough and doing about par.'
'Since this sinkhole showed up, this is an easy par 3.'
Sometimes a desire for excellence needs to be tempered somewhat.
'This is the hole I was telling you about!'
'Probably a nine iron, or in your case, nine iron, nine iron, nine iron. . .'
'I love these market updates they now have on each hole.'
The 'Gulf' Coast League.
'He claims that a one-minute massage before each shot has trimmed six strokes off his game.'
'...and twenty-two mulligans.'
Turf drops out of sky and plugs hole to bewilderment of golfers.
'It's the only way Ernie can get a ‘hole-in-one'.'
'Wow, what a golfer!'
'Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?'
'Golf is bad for the heart. . .Six strokes on the first hole.'
'We do not tee off in front of the markers. This is my second shot.'
'Now that should make it a lot easier.'
'And there's another three to come.'
'We were married on the 9th on the 18th.'
'Well, maybe it's in your genes to be attracted to sand...'
'Actually, I'd better have 2 pairs of trousers in case I get a hole.'
'He's feeling more 'up to par' today, Doctor.'
'Alice Ferguson can think of more excuses for her golf score! Today it was labor pains!'
'It looks like I'm finally going to break 70.. this is my 69th club I've broken.'