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"I don't really know how to tell you this, sweetheart, so I'm just going to come right out and say it: Your goldfish ran away."
"He's dead. Would you like his voice mail?"
"Grandpa's up there somewhere."
Discontinued sympathy cards
"I never thought I'd have to move back in with my parents."
Tags:cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, grave, graves, mausoleum, mausoleums, tombstone, tombstones, headstone, headstones, dead, death, died, passed away, parent, parents, moving in, moving in with the parents, move back in with parents, son, sons, child, children, kid, kids, adult child, adult kid, adult kids, adulthood, living with parents, desperate, desperation
'Sorry, we couldn't pry the remote from his fingers.'
Tags:, television, televisions, watching, watch, watches, watched, watcher, watchers, wake, funeral, funerals, wakes, pry, pries, pried, remote, tv remote, remote, television remote, died, die, dies, dying, dead, passed away, passing away, passed on, lazy, laziest, typical man, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, sick, sickness, ill, illness, medical, medicine, patient, patients, death, dead, dying, family, families, grandmothers, grandma, grandmas, nan, nans, nana, nanas, grandparent, grandparents, passed away, food, homecooking, home cooking, homemade, family recipe, family recipes, cooking, recipe, recipes, lost, gone forever, forever lost, forgot, forgotten, selfish, self-serving, self-centred, grieving the loss, mourning the loss, mourning, grieving, bereaved, crying, sad, depressed, depression, kugel, kugel recipe, regret, regrets, visiting, visitor, visitors, son, sons, adult kids, grand-son, grand-sons, grandchild, parent, parents, kids, kid, child, children, lost knowledge, knowledge lost, family history
"Good news, hon. Your doctor now has the right to recommend treatment."
Tags:doctor, doctors, nurse, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, hospital, hospitals, gps, gp, general practitioner, general practitioners, surgery, surgeries, checkup, physical, physician, physicians, doctor's office, doctors office, doctor's offices, doctors offices, dead, die, died, death, dying, passed away, patient, patients, too late, health insurance, medical insurance, insurance, insurance company, insurance companies, bureaucracy, grave, graves, gravestone, gravestones, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, headstone, headstones
"I took two aspirins but when I called him in the morning he had died."
"Wrong line, buddy."
Tags:funeral, funerals, funeral home, wake, wakes, dead, death, dying, died, die, passed, passed away, celebration of life, remembrance of life, deceased, deceased person, deceased people, funeral procession, funeral processions, line, lines, buffet line, buffet, food, cannibalism, dark humor, dark humour, black humour, black humor, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, burial, burials, cremate, cremation, cremated, buried, funeral director, funeral directors, mourn, mourning, mourner, mourners, embalmer, embalmers, embalming
"No, he didn't suffer. That's my only regret."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, widow, widows, death, dead, suffer, suffering, regret, regrets, mourn, mourning, grief, grieving, funeral, funerals, photo, photos, photograph, photographs, deceased, passed away, memory, memories, bad wife, bad wives, mean-spirited, suffering husband, suffering husbands, woman, women, stereotype, stereotypes
"He passed away last week. Can I give him a message?"
Tags:receptionist, receptionists, secretary, secretaries, leave a message, leave messages, death, dead, passed away, died, died suddenly, sudden death, workaholic, workaholics, work addict, work addicts, at the office, on-call, always on-call, psychic, psychics, talking to the death, talk to the dead, speak to the dead, speak with the dead, medium, psychic medium, mediums, psychic mediums, seance
"Why didn't you give granny flowers...when she could water them herself?"
Tags:flowers, grave, graves, graveyard, graveyards, cemetery, cemeteries, loneliness, lonely, elder people, all saints, commemorate, solitude, death, dead, grave, buried, graveyard visit, grave visit, flowers, respects, mourn, mourning, dead, passed away, nan, water, feed, garden, gardening, flower pot, mourner, mourners, griever, grievers, grieving
"Quality of life insurance protects you and your family in the event of the death of your life style."
Tags:life insurance, quality of life, life style, life styles lifestyle, lifestyles, insurance, insurance company, insurance companies, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, insurance plan, insurance plans, life insurance plan, life insurance plans, insurance policy, insurance policies, passing away, passed away, inheritance
Rest In Peace, Peace...
'Well, I don't know how to break the bad news to you, Mr. Jenson, but ...'
Tags:medical, medicine, doctor, doctors office, office exam, exam room, health, healthcare, death, dead, angel, angels, physician, physicians, patient, patients, patient care, tests, test results, lab work, diagnostic, diagnostics, diagnostic tests, death, dying, die, dead, heaven, religion, news, bad news, results, bad results, passed away
'Daisy had an amazing jumping ability. She jumped over fences and across streams...but it was her attempt to jump over the moon that brings me to why we're here today.'
I was at his side when he passed away. But if the cops ask, say I was with you.
The Eight Original Dwarves
Tags:dwarves, dwarf, little people, princess, malignancy, malignant, tumor, tumour, cancer, cancerous, dead, death, dying, died, die, passed, passed away, malignant tumor, malignant tumour, brothers grimm, brothers grim, german, germany, fairy tale, fairytale, fairy-tale, unhappy ending, magic, magic mirror, poison, poisonous, poisoned apple, evil, evil witch, witch, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, aggressive cancer, terminal, terminal cancer
'He took it with him.'
"Edward lived fast, died young, and left a very pretty corpse."
"My husband doesn't' get too excited when the market is up nor too depressed when it's down. My husband is deceased."
'And now, for the big surprise.'
"Wherever he is, I know my husband is looking down on me....he's very condescending."
'Now, why did I come up here?'