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"For your comfort, you will be searched by someone of your own level of sexiness."
"You're our oldest and dearest friends, but we figured why take chances?"
'Sure, it's an improvement. But I guess we'll need to get to the airport a lot earlier from now on...'
"Before I accept you as my coach, I just need to check you're not wearing a wire-tap."
'I couldn't afford a physical but the TSA guy at the airport seemed to think I was fine.'
'What do you think should we give him a second look?'
'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'
"Sure, pat down strangers all day, but I ask for one little hug..."
Customs examination and women
"Security pat-down? I thought it was a Thai massage..."
'That security pat down was so invasive.'
'There's that Patowski kid... I hear those hands got him recruited straight out of high school!'
"No, he's not a security risk ... he just loves the pat-downs."