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'Good to see you back at work.'
'We are not a sexist employer, so we ask all employees exactly the same questions. Now, 'what happens if you become pregnant?''
'You can't agree on who gets maternity or paternity leave...'
"Maternity leave, again!"
'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'
'These figures on parental leave are truly shocking...'
"Frankly, McCurdy, it is very discouraging to hear that Mrs. McCurdy has had another baby."
"Right now I'm a stay-at-home dad, but when this baby comes I'm going back to work."
Tags:paternity, paternity leave, leave, leaves, leaving, time off, take time off, takes time off, taking time off, dad, dads, new dad, new dads, father, fathers, new father, new fathers, new parent, new parents, parent, parents, pregnancy, pregnancies, infant, infants, infancy, baby, babies, back to work, go back to work, going back to work, lazy, laziness, parenting duty, parenting duties, parenting, deadbeat dad, deadbeat dads, loser, losers, husband, husbands, slacker, slackers, slack off, slacks off, slacking off
"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."
'I name this child 'Blumming Nuisance'.'
'I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave.'
'I'm just working out the best time to take paternity leave.'
'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'
"Nice and simple. The way a family leave policy should be."
'When we cross referenced your requests for paternity leave and your billable hours it appears that you must have been on the job when you were at the job!'
Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.
Tags:baby in-utero, baby, babies, unborn, umbilical cord, contractions, gestation, birth, birth canal, childbirth, pregnancies, placenta, pregnancy, conception, maternity, midwife, midwives, gynaecology, gynaecologist, gynaecologists, gynecologists, gynecology, obstetrics, obstetrician, obstetricians, birth manual, birth manuals, paternity leave, paternity leaves, maternity leave, maternity leaves, late, gestation period
"So, paternity leave problem solved then?"
Tags:hr, human resources, personnel, payroll, payrolls, pay roll, pay rolls, pay-roll, pay-rolls, businessmen, businessman, childcare, child care, child-care, nursery, nurseries, nursery school, nursery schools, parent, parents, parenting, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, paternity leave, maternity leave
'Be reasonable Jones - think how sales would plummet if I gave a day off to every man whose wife had sextuplets!!'
"So I suffered sympathetic labour pains for nothing!"
Tags:employment law, employment laws, paternity pay, maternity pay, paternity leave, maternity leave, labour pain, labour pains, labor pain, labor pains, childbirth, enhanced paternity pay, workers rights, fatherhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, workplace disputes, maternity rights, labour pains, company policy, pregnancy at work
'I gave them shared parental leave and they left me holding the baby!'
"This paternity leave plays havoc with your handicap."
Tags:employment law, maternity leave, paternity leave, shared parental leave, paid leave, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, parent, parents, golf, golfer, golfers, golf player, golf players, golf course, golf courses, handicap, handicaps, baby, babies, newborn, newborns, baby carrier, baby carriers
"Well ok....but in your case I'll need DNA proof!"
'Another 3 eggs?? . . . That's 150 weeks paternity leave. . . just for today!!'
'Ok Benson..let me explain. Your cat having kittens does NOT entitle you to paternity leave.'
Sloane & Whitworth: Mommy Tracker Wanted.