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"Here at 27 Briarwood Drive it's always been one man, one vote."
"Oh, just you wait till your patriarch gets home!"
"I just finished paying the bills...I'm imposing economic sanctions on all of you!"
"To be honest, I'm getting tired of staging 'Hamlet.'"
'Oh, I don't know -- Tell Adam to try patriarchy for awhile and we'll see how it works out.'
"God, they were fun then - women."
"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."
"Looks like it'll be a little while before I assume the family CEO position."
Moses with Ten Commandments: 'But will these be good for the economy?'
"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."
"Dad, I have to tell you...I would never do anything behind your back. Smiley and I were in my room studying...nothing more, nothing less. I would never disrespect your house and your rules."
"This would probably be a good time for me to apologize for all the 'Big Guy Upstairs' references I've made over the years!"
Law of Dad: Views Narrow As Waist Expands