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In retrospect, Howard should have taken the raise instead of asking for his own cubicle.
'The entire staff hates you. Your promotion to management has been a complete success.'
"You should work for a non-profit, dear. You have a lot of experience at that."
'From January to May I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'
'Your promotion comes with longer hours with no extra pay. Welcome to middle management.'
"Oh yeah? Well, your dad makes more, but my dad's not stuck in a high-paying job he hates but is too scared to leave."
'There's no increase in salary, but once a month you will get a whack at the company pinata.'
"The salary is negotiable, take it or leave it."
'I'd like to pay you what you're worth, but I can't. There's a minimum wage law.'
'It's called the 'Ask your boss for a raise' diet.'
"It turns out the thing that makes my career fulfilling is making more money than other people."
Hug Your Boss (Use the Opportunity for the Power of Suggestion).
'Money can't buy happiness, Sims, so instead of a raise, I'm giving you a bottle of prozac.'
'Surely you can earn more than this! Someone has to support Medicare and Social Security.'
After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.
'I was wondering, Mr. Hartwelder, if I could be paid in money rather than stock options?'
My bonus wasn't obscene, but it did come with a parental advisory.
"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem... why doesn't everyone get one?"
'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'
You asked for a bigger pay packet, Harris.
The trouble with working for a multi-national company
'Don't worry, the company will be fine... I'm making $12 million a year.'
'He makes over six figures a year.'
My salary goes into six figures - a wife and five daughters.
'I won't pay you a raise, Wurstberger. You can stop greeting me with an one-man La Ola.'