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'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'
Heaven- A Gated Community
Tags:heaven, gates of heaven, christianity, christian, judaism, gated community, gated communities, exclusive community, exclusive communities, sins, denied entry, denied access, death, security, secure community, secure communities, wealth, privilege, property, properties, expensive property, expensive properties, exclusive property, expensive housing, exclusive housing, exclusive, exclusion, exclusive properties, unaffordable, unaffordable property, unaffordable properties, unaffordable housing, real estate, sign, signs, signage keep out, gate, gates, ornate gates, secure, protected, rejected, protect, protection, reject, rejection, pearly gates, pearly gate
'Yeah, like I've never heard that one before. If I had a dollar for every cloud computing joke I've heard...'
Heaven for Agnostics
Entering Heaven Pop 8
"You. You. And you."
Tags:heaven, gates of heaven, the gates of heaven, heavens gates, pearly gate, pearly gates, angel, angels, bouncer, bouncers, security, security guards, security guard, crowd, crowds, queue, queues, selection, selection process, club, clubs, clubbing, admitting, admittance, admitted, exclusive, exclusion, elite, the elite, elites, chosen, chose one, the chosen ones, gods chosen ones, god's chosen ones, rope, ropes, barrier, barriers, ped barrier, ped barriers, crowd control, control, controls, controlled, contolling, crowd controlling, crowd controls, crowd controller, christianity, judaism, re teacher, religious education, re, religious studies, rs teacher, rs teachers, re teachers, pick, picking, choose, choosing, discriminate, discrimination, god
"The system crashed. You'll have to go back and live it again."
Tags:heaven, heavens, die, dies, death, pearly gate, pearly gates, pearly gates of heaven, angel, angels, admit, admitting, admittance, system, systems, crash, crashes, crashing, electronic, electronics, computer, computers, computer system, computer systems, online, break down, broken down, relive, reliving, reliving, repeat, repeats, repeating, live, lives, again, modernise, modernised
'Just a one-hour pass. I'm a process server.'
"What about the redemptive power of my art?"
Tags:pearly gate, pearly gates, the pearly gates, gateway to heaven, the gateway to heaven, st peter, st. peter, artist, artists, redemption, redemptive power, painter, painters, excuse, excuses, making excuses, reject, rejects, rejected, rejection, redeem, redeemed, afterlife, the afterlife, damage limitation
Welcome to Heaven: Please log in, using your password...
Welcome! Sorry, No WiFi.
"I hate my fans."
Tags:god, heaven, angel, angels, pearly gate, pearly gates, religions, theism, theist, theists, religious extremism, religious extremist, religious extremists, extremism, extremist, fan, fans, fandom, fandoms, fanatic, fanatic, idol, idols, idolise, idolize, idolising, idolizing, christian, christians, christianity, judaism, jews, jewish
"So you can take it with you!"
Tags:cliche, cliches, heaven, pearly gate, pearly gates, afterlife, death, dead, you can't take it with you, heaven's gate, possession, possessions, greed, greedy, materialism, entering heaven, entrance to heaven, death, after death, st. peter's gate, st. peter, saint peter, saint peter's gate, getting into heaven, golf club, golf clubs, golfer, golfers, grill, grills, barbecue, barbecues
"Who did you think has been drawing you all this time?"
God Send Me a Sign
'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'
"No sir, we do not have beer here."
Tags:polka, polkas, polka song, polka songs, song reference, song references, beer, beers, ale, ales, heaven, heavenly, pearly gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, heaven's gate, heaven's gates, heavens gate, heavens gates, gates of heaven, afterlife, afterlives, after life, after lives, after-life, after-lives
"Great, just my luck."
Tags:pearly gates, pearly gate, judgement day, judgment day, nuns making you look bad, contrast, angel, saint, saints, nun, nuns, saint peter, st. peter, angels, st peter, bad luck, unfortunate circumstances, waiting in line, making your case, stating your case, comparison, performance review, hard act to follow, afterlife, afterlives, heavenly gates, heavenly gate
"Most of these sins were committed before surveillance cameras, smartphones, or videotape, but you left a paper trail."
"This is bogus. I demand to speak to someone higher up."
Tags:judgement day, judgment day, pearly gate, pearly gates, manager, managers, boss, bosses, st. peter, st peter, saint peter, afterlife, afterlives, heaven, heavens, gates of heaven, heaven's gate, rejection, rejections, rejected, renegotiate, negotiate, negotiates, negotiation, negotiations, negotiating
"I was very good...delicious in fact."
Ya, that's me, whackin' some rat-faced dirt-bag. Funny how, whenever we look back, we only remember the good times.
'Wait! Hold it right there! Did you once say you had more money than me?'
"Sorry. I'm afraid NSA flagged too many of your calls."