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'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'
'Why do I have to go first?' 'There's no I in team, Dave.'
'Of course some species have responded better to global warming than others.'
"As for me, I could stand a little global warming."
'Why do I always attract the ugly ones'
"I just got damn well fed up with being formal all the time."
'How did I do it I dunno, I guess the fight-or-flight mechanism kicked in and well,, in case you haven't heard, Bob, I'm a penguin,,,we don't fly,'
Tags:boxing, box, boxes, boxing match, ring, boxing ring, penguin, penguins, polar bear, polar bears, boxing matches, fight, fighting, fights, animal, animals, fights, fight, north pole, polar, fight or flight, meltdown, out for the count, out, stand up boxing, northern hemisphere, flightless, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
A bunch of penguins look on as one penguin hang glides above them.
'Hang on. Let me check my... why yes! There IS a penguin on my computer! What does that mean?' 'Your computer froze.'
"One day, son, this will all be gone."
Tags:penguin, penguins, penguin colony, penguin colonies, arctic, antarctica, north pole, south pole, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmental activist, environmental activists, melting icecap, melting, icecap, ice-cap, ice-caps, global warming, climate change, climate-change, legacy, legacies, inheritance, heir, hairs, inheritances
"Which one of us is me?"
Tags:anonymous, anonymity, penguin, penguins, emperor penguins, who is me, who is speaking, antarctica, antarctic, south pole, south poles, unidentifiable, identify, identifies, identifying, who is who, same, similar, copy, copies, indistinguishable, personified, personification, personifies, personify
The Most Confusing Day of the Year For Penguins
"I had some upsetting news today… 'Fish gotta swim, Birds gotta fly'."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, bird, birds, flightless bird, flightless birds, penguin, penguins, antarctica, fish, fly, flying, swim, swimming, song, songs, famous song, famous songs, music, lyrics, confused, confusion, upsetting news, bad news, new information, quote, quotes, quoting, quotation, quotations
"I think we're underdressed."
"What's this I hear about large quanities of ice, fish, and small sea creatures being purchased by your department?"
Tags:penguin, penguins, strange, strange imagery, account, accounts, businessmen, business man, absurd, absurdity, ice, fish, luxuries, personal use, personal, reprimand, reprimanded, reprimanding, what do you expect, need, needs, want, wants, spend, spending, spent, outgoing, outgoings, department, departmental, departmental plan, plan, plans, planning, accounting, warning, warnings, management, upper management, office politics, rule, rules, necessities, access, accessibility, access needs, access requirements
'So... is the sea rising or is the ice melting?'
'What do you mean you're out of ice?'
The Penguins of Las Vegas
"Should we take pics of our feed for Instagram?"
A penguin keeps a globe upside-down.
"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."
Tags:marriage, married, married life, relationship, argue, arguing, argued, argument, secret, secrets, break up, break-up, break ups, break-ups, penguin, penguins, documentary, animals, animal, in the wild, nature documentary, allusion, allude, alluding, pun, puns, play on words, context, contextual, film, films, movie, movies, nature, exotic, arctic, antarctica, dealbreaker, deal breaker, red flag, red flags, deal-breaker
'National Geographic is on their way. Everyone out of the jacuzzi.'
"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"
Tags:dad, dads, grandpa, grandpas, father, fathers, grandfather, grandfathers, senior, seniors, growing up, growing old, growing older, when i was a boy, cliche, cliches, war story, war stories, parent, parents, grandparent, grandparents, curmudgeon, curmudgeons, codger, codgers, penguin, penguins, iceberg, icebergs, complain, complaints, complainer, complaining, good old days
"They keep asking for more ice for their drinks."
Penguins at a zoo stare at a floating penguin-shaped helium balloon held by a child.