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"You can afford to retire at 65, but you'll need to die at 70."
Tags:financial advice, financial adviser, financial advisers, pension, pensions, pension crisis, retire, retires, retiring, retired, retirement, later retirement, retirement age, good news, bad news, pension pot, pension pots, small pension pot, small pension pots, no pension, no pensions, die, death, die early, early death
'At least we get decent pensions.'
Passing the pension time bomb.
"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."
Tags:retire, retires, retirement, saving for retirement, pension, pensions, pension crisis, pensions crisis, late retirement, life expectancy, longevity, finances, personal finances, savings, lack of savings, squeak by, survive, die early, early death, die young, short life, couple, couples, money worries, money problems, money issues
'I challenge your asserion that your solution to the pensions crisis is 'highly original', Perkins...it appears to be merely the plot of the film 'Logan's Run'.'
"...Staff just don't understand the competing demands we have for that money..."
Todays Sermon: 'Can our entitlements be saved?'
Pledges for my 10k. Pledges for my 20k. Pledges for my 401(k).
Tags:run, runs, running, sponsored run, sponsored runs, runner, runners, sponsorship, pledge, pledges, raising money, charity run, charity runs, pension, pensions, 401k, 401(k), pension pot, pension pots, state pension, pension provision, pension crisis, office, office worker, officer workers, offices
"Rest assured the government has considered this issue. We have a plan to resolve the adult care crisis and pensions problem at one stroke."
'Right we have some 'any other business' to deal with. Global warming, poverty, and the Pension Crisis.'
Old lady being interviewed after ageism law. 'OK Mother. The job's yours.'
'Right we have some 'any other business' to deal with, global warming, poverty and the pension crisis.'
'I think I can beat the system by never getting a job in the first place and retiring by the age of eight.'
'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'
'Pension fund performance, please give generously.'
Staying together for the pension.
Nil by care
'Thank Heavens we've lived a care-free hedonistic lifestyle.'
The emperor's new pension plan: 'I'm sorry, sir, it's vanished!'
'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'
'We all lost a lot of money in the stock market and our 401ks look pretty bad right now, but let's not forget we're cats. Just a nice piece of furniture to sharpen our claws and your troubles just melt away.'
Death as a Solicitor, to client: "I strongly recommend you write a Will."
'Weak and without structure, Reminds me of my pension scheme,'
"Isn't that the bloke who sold us our pensions?"