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"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."
'The good news is, profits are up 74%, the bad news is, we don't know why.'
'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'
'At our last meeting we decided to go for broke. Well, mission accomplished.'
'And that's with massaging the numbers!'
'Since that was the two weeks you were on vacation last year, Simms, we're giving you a six week vacation this year.'
'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'
Man climbing line chart, planting profit flag.
Acme Toupee Co. - Pile of toupees in corner, hawk on perch by open window - chart showing sales up. - The hawk is stealing toupees off people's heads, driving sales up.
"Now that I have everyone's attention..."
Some line managers like to use graphs in performance management meetings.