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"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."
"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"
"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."
"Remember, on the stand, Hobart, the truth will not set you free. The truth will get you fifteen to twenty."
"Remember to watch me from the stand. 'One' is exagerrate, 'Two' is half truth and 'Three' is bald faced lie."