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Due to privacy concerns Santa no longer sees you when you're sleeping, or when you're awake.
Man is dumber because of his smartwatch.
"You didn't fill in the part that would make it incredibly easy to steal your identity."
"What does God do with all that prayer data?"
"I guess I forgot to disable cookies before we started hiking."
"You wear it on your wrist and it hacks - I mean, tracks - all your personal data."
Tags:technology, modern life, modern technology, electronics, electronic device, electronic devices, tracker, trackers, activity tracker, activity trackers, watch, watches, health tracker, health trackers, fitness tracker, fitness trackers, activity band, activity bands, smart watch, smart watches, wearable, wearable technology, fashion, popular, trend, trends, trendy, track, tracks, tracking, personal data, personal privacy, invasion of privacy, salesmen, salesman, hacks, hacking, hacker, hackers, data tracking, loss of privacy, data, data collection, data gathering, big brother
Cutting out the middleman
"Well my records are factually CORRECT...but where's the PASSION, the MYSTERY, THE REAL ME!..." Electronic records will prolong consultations
"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."
"Mark Zuckerberg would have known the colour of my eyes."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married couple, argument, arguments, husband, husbands, wife, wives, unobservant, forgetful, unromantic, romance, lack of romance, social media, data, personal data, hoarding data, collecting data, data collection, privacy, internet privacy, surveillance, surveillance culture
Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.
"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."
The whales have been tagged for biologists to track, and today they lead us further offshore. Where will they migrate next, and what will they buy?
"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"
How do they know me so well?
'We will never divulge your personal data unless you ask us not to.'
Mark Zuckerberg's definitely not running for president.
Tags:trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, trump administration, trump scandal, trump scandals, trump controversy, trump controversies, election, elections, presidential election, presidential elections, 2020 election, 2020 elections, 2020 presidential election, democratic candidate, democratic candidates, rumour, rumours, zuckerberg, personal data
"I've invented a software application for protecting our personal data."
Tags:creation, creations, story of creation, clothes, clothing, invention, inventions, inventor, inventors, software, technology, software application, software applications, protect, protects, protecting, protection, data, personal data, personal, cover up, cover-up, covering up, inventive, innovation, innovating, innovative, original, idea, ideas
"Maybe you should disable your cookies, Steve."
Tags:cookie, cookies, computer cookie, computer cookies, disable cookies, disabling cookies, targeted ad, targeted ads, targeted advertising, online advertising, online ad, online ads, personalised ad, personalised ads, personalised advertising, personalized ad, personalized ads, personalized advertising, data, personal data, retail, shop, shops, store, stores, shop front, shop fronts, store front, store fronts, privacy, privacy settings
"I want you to hear it from me before you hear it from the hackers who broke into our files."
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctors office, doctors surgery, doctors offices, medical record, medical records, medical history, medical histories, personal information, personal data, hacker, hackers, hacked, hack, hacking medical records, cybercriminal, cybercriminals, patient record, patient records, hacking medical records, security failure, cybersecurity, stolen medical records, hear it from me, bad news
'My fitness band is telling me I need to be active more than one day a year.'
Tags:santa claus, christmas, christmastime, x-mas, x mas, xmas, holidays, fitness, exercise, physical activity, fitness trackers, fitness band, smart watches, wearables, data tracker, tracking data, data technology, big data, big-data, health data, personal data, information technology, biometrics, biometric data, vitals, health stats, health statistics, computers, mobile devices
"Now that Google owns Fitbit, they know when I am sleeping, they know when I'm awake..."
'Hello, Mr. Thomas! We noticed you've recently been mugged! Hey, there's no better time than now to consider purchasing our identity theft protection insurance!...'
Tags:identity theft, identity thieves, id insurance, id watchdogs, insurance industry, surveillance state, privacy rights, privacy advocates, corporate overreach, law enforcement, sales pitches, salesmen, selling, customer service, data collection, personal data, data security, it, information technology, facial recognition software, ambulance chaser, ambulance chasers, ambulance chasing
'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'
Tags:it dept, computers, information technology, hacking, data security, data hacking, data hacks, internet security, internet infrastructure, the cloud, business intelligence, data, consumer data, personal data, personal privacy, business, meetings, meeting room, war room, executives, ceo, boss, bosses, executive decisions, networks, network security
"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"