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'I don't do 'slip and fall,' but if you're ever in need of a good tax attorney...'
'For that satisfying sense of inclusion, you can't beat a class action suit.'
'Honey, this personal injury lawyer says that if we act now, he'll also throw in a free slicer and dicer in its own carrying case.'
"A personal injury lawyer whose will stated he wanted one last chase."
'No, you first.'
Three blind mice see personal injury lawyer: 'You've got a water-tight case here.'
Law Firm of Stonado & Stonato - Personal Injury
"I'm not a lawyer. I'm just drafting."
'OK, Mrs. Huber. Why don't you step over here and start trying on some of these, and we'll make your case iron-clad.'
'I called you due to concern than being low man on the totem pole could lead to closed-head injuries.'
'Nice Shot-right into the middle of that foursome of personal injury lawyers...'
'His previous owner was a personal-injury lawyer, which explains why he will play dead, but I can't get him to speak.'
"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"
"Did you or did you not, without proper warning, leap upon my client's back, thereby causing him grievous bodily injury?!"
'Actually I'd like to claim against you. I tripped over your junk mail.'
Law office of GRINDER, PIERCE, PINCHER, CUTTER AND POKE: Personal Injury Specialists.
'Injured on Black Friday? I can help!'
'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'
'9:00, you're meeting with clients, 10:00, talking with witnesses, 11:00, talking with doctors, 12:00, consulting with experts, 1:00, negotiating with insurance adjustors, ... oh here it is, 4:00 to 4:05, taking time to smell the roses.'
'Lawyers to Avoid.' 'Need a lawyer? I'm low in cholesterol, have never been tested on lab animals and am 100 biodegradable.'
'The attorney will see you just as soon as you put this neck-brace on.'
'Whom shall I say is suing?'
Litigation Advice: 'Miss Beamish, in this office never, ever, say 'accidents will happen'...'
Lawyer to dog about ambulance: 'I'll race ya.'