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"When I was young I needed drugs to feel weird. Now, I need drugs to feel normal."
Tags:drug, drug use, drug user, drug users, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical industry, medication, medications, medicate, medicates, medicating, ssri, ssris, depression, mood disorder, mood disorders, mood, moods, personality disorder, personality disorders, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, change, changes, changing, grow old, grows old, growing old, grow up, grows up, growing up, age, ages, aging, ageing, too much coffee man
"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, sibling, siblings, oldest child, eldest child, middle child, middle children, oldest children, eldest children, personality disorder, personality disorders, mental health problem, mental health problems, mental health issue, mental health issues, dissociative identity disorder, dissociative personality disorder
'Looks like it's gonna be one of those days.'
"I don't suppose we could blame the theft of the three million dollars on kleptomania?"
Tags:thief, thieves, thieving, kleptomania, kleptomaniac, kleptomaniacs, steal, steals, stealing, scapegoat, scapegoats, assign blame, assigns blame, assigning blame, theft, thefts, excuse, excuses, personality disorder, personality disorders, embezzle, embezzles, embezzlement, kickback, kickbacks, corporate kickback, corporate kickbacks
Man Exchanges Heads In Desk Trays
'See, it's not impossible for an obsessive-compulsive to get a responsible job.'
'You'll have to excuse George: he suffers from perfectly normal child disorder.'
"You are responsible for editing your thoughts. I'm just here to audit them."
Tags:therapy, mental health, editing your thoughts, auditors, therapist, therapists, shrink, shrinks, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, auditor, responsibility, entitlement, personality disorders, road rage, anger management, anger, aggression, getting help, frustration, frustrated, overwhelmed, thinking before you speak, editing, stress, depression, accounting, accountant, accountable
Brent Mundayne, life-long sufferer of Zero-Personality Disorder.
'I've been thinking about this whole Santa thing.'
'My therapist told me that my aggressive email blasts are the result of my intermittent explosive disorder.'
Narcissist in the tunnel of love.
'Hey, Randall, you got voted 'student most likely to massacre his classmates in firearms outrage'!'
'That doctor is an idiot and I'm getting nothing out of these visits! Look forward to coming back next week!'
'The blood tests confirm what we thought: he has ALBD - Annoying Little Bastard Disorder.'
"He's a bit OCD with his spaghetti."
Tags:ocd, obsessive compulsive disorder, obsessive compulsive disorders, ocds, mental health, mental state, compulsion, compulsions, obsession, obsessive, personality disorder, personality disorders, spaghetti, pasta, pastas, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychology, psychiatry
'As company CEO, I leave with no regrets.'
Welcome! Multiple Personality Group.
'My therapist says I've developed a cult of personality disorder.'
"Split personality? Me?? Are you sure?? Well, if you insist on talking to me about this then you should make an appointment with my secretary-me."
'Why is it always about me?'
'Our psychological assessment indicates you're a functional psychotic. Congratulations. You'll fit right in.'
'Can you cure my identity crisis?'
The W****r Seeking Missile. So many targets, so little time.