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We find this model works better for us!
Interviewee: 'Nah, work related stress isn't a problem - I've never taken a job seriously enough for it to bother me!'
'For some strange reason personnel want us to review our equal opportunities employment policies!'
Personnel: 'Next question, what was the reason for leaving your last job?' Reply: 'I got sick of being questioned about everything I did!'
"Plus, I can read."
Tags:job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, interviewee, interviewees, resume, resumes, personnel, personnel department, hr, human resources, human resources department, c.v., curriculum vitae, read, reads, reading, qualification, qualifications, skills, desirable, desirable skills, quality, qualities, characteristic, characteristics, basic, basics, unskilled, enthusiasm, enthusiastic, bonus, bonuses, unusual
"I have to admit, I've never seen anyone list 'cleaning out my desk' as a job skill."
Tags:job, jobs, interview, interviewee, job interview, interviewer, personnel, hr, personnel department, hr partment, human resources, resume, resume, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, skill, skills, employable skills, kill set, fire, fired, firing, unemployed, unemployable, desk, desks, clean out my desk, cleaning out my desk, hopeless, unskilled, inexperienced, surprised, surprising
Tags:personnel, personnel officer, personnel officers, personnel department, door sign, door signs, hiring, recruitment, staff office, hr, human resources, anti social, anti-social, unsocial, introvert, introverts, unsociable, management, people management, business management, rival, rivals, rivalry, offices
"You don't look like a Dave."
"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."
Multitasking gone mad.
"This is incredible! I thought Amelia Earhart was dead."
Tags:personnel, personnel department, job interview, interviews, interviewee, interviewer, hr, human resources, human resources department, lie, lies, lying, liar, resume, cv, curriculum vitae, pretend, pretends, pretending, amelia earhart, earhart, aviator, aviators, dead, death, incredible, hide, hides, hiding, achievement, achievements, stolen identity, identity, identity theft, unemployed, unqualified
'Norman, mentoring is not about making everybody else the same as you.'
"We have only jobs here, Mr. Sanderson, not 'gigs.' "
Tags:gig, gigs, personnel, personnel department, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers, job, jobs, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, demand, demands, demanding, temp, temps, class divide, class division, class divisions, for hire, contractor, contractors, contracting, contract work, musician, musicians, lingo, jargon
"This is where infrastructure meets personnel."
'Is that ACME recruitment... The software designer you sent me needs his mummy.'
"The good news is thet a number of GPs have agree to take action on a number of dangerous 'lifestyle' issues..." "And the bad news?..." "They've decided the best way to reduce their risk is by retiring!"
'You'll be on a leash for the first six months.'
"And, finally, are you now or have you ever been disgruntled?"
Tags:disgruntled, warning sign, warning signs, employee, employees, hire, hires, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers, personnel, personnel department, paranoia, paranoid, mass shooting, mass shootings, shooting, shootings, postal, going postal, job satisfaction, worker satisfactions, satisfaction, human resources
"Do you have any references?"
Tags:superhero, superheroes, applicant, applicants, job application, job applications, application, applications, interview, interviews, interviewing, job interview, job interviews, employment, reference, references, job reference, job references, personnel, personnel department, human resources, human resources department, human resources departments, comic book, comic books, recruit, recruits, recruiting, lack of references, job experience, qualification, qualifications, unqualified, limited, limitation, limitations
'Basically, we're looking for cost-effective, efficient tried and true ideas that look like bold innovation thinking while not scaring the poop out of everyone.'
Humbug! What has health and safety ever done ! Apart from dramatically reduce accidents at work...cut serious injuries...reduce time off sick...
"Can I call you back? I'm still recovering from a night of binge hiring."
Tags:binge, binges, bingeing, hire, hires, hiring, recruit, recruits, recruitment, new recruit, new recruits, late night, late nights, hiring officer, hiring officers, personnel, personnel department, hangover, hangovers, hung over, bad decision, bad decisions, making bad decisions, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, manager, managers, managing
Performance Management: "Jump!"
Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'