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'How do you explain these terrible verbal SAT scores?'
"Apparently we're to use our fictitious budget to employ some non-existent assistants to reach our imaginary staffing levels!"
"We ran hundreds of ads, searched the state before we got her..."
We don't believe one glove fits all!
Tags:hr, human resources, personnel, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, manager, managers, management, managements, personnel manager, personnel managers, one glove fits all, job description, employee, employees, worker, workers, job descriptions, job title, job titles, individuality, individual, individuals
"According to current research, retention is helped by providing training and appropriate support, there's no mention of chaining people to their desks!"
Tags:staff retention, staff retentions, work ethic, work ethics, office politics, desk job, desk jobs, office job, office jobs, chain, chains, chained to your desk, workaholic, workaholics, work addict, work addicts, employee retention, hr, human resources, personnel, personnel manager, personnel management
"Thanking someone for 27 years of service and then laying them off in less than 140 words is really difficult."
"Which bit of 'You're Fired' don't you understand?"
Tags:personnel, personnel realignment, fired, firing, sack, sacks, sacking, fire, fires, sacked, unemployed, personnel manager, personnel managers, office restructuring, staffing cuts, redundancy, redundancies, corporate jargon, management speak, management speech, business jargon, management jargon, communication, communicator, communicators, communications
This is Martin from operations, he'll be conducting a review of ward personnel management . . ."
Tags:nurse, nursing, bureaucracy, bureaucracies, bureaucrat, bureaucrats, red tape, red-tape, red-tapes, hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, patient care, nhs, national health service, nursing care, patient-care, personnel management, personnel manager, resource, resources, resources manager, resources managers
"Are you the Mr. Evans we're letting go or the other one?"
"Miss Roberts, would you mind rehiring all 380 employees I fired last week? I've come to realize this company can't function without them."
"We shuttered Human Resources once we realized all of our employees were robots."
"I've been looking for a job myself."
"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."
'I see from your CV you're all things to all men.'
"Every applicant undergoes a rigorous background check and a thorough sniffing from Humphrey."
"You were fired a week ago. Have you checked your twitter account?"
"In five years I see myself sitting on the shoulder of a successful pirate captain."
"She was fired three months ago. . . so we all chipped in to pay for her to stay."
"I like short job interviews, that's why I have just one question: Are you willing to subject your entire life to your employer's needs or shall I reject your application?"
Tags:job interview, job interviews, hr, human resources, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, cv, cvs, resume, resumes, qualification, qualifications, personnel, personnel manager, personnel managers, employee, employees, employer, employers, exploitation, overworked, overwork, boss, bosses, bad bosses
Employee writes 'I quit' on boss' window.
'We value you in ways that cannot be expressed in money.'
"Racism and sexism is for stupid amateurs. I'm a professional misanthrope."
Tags:racism, sexist, sexists, misanthrope, misanthropes, misanthropy, prejudice, prejudices, discrimination, discriminating, prejudiced, amateur, amateurs, professional, professionals, unprofessional, attitude problem, attitude problems, bad attitude, bad attitudes, personnel manager, personnel managers, hr, human resources
'Enjoy your vacation ... the bad news can wait until you get back.'
Personnel Manager of the Wild...