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"The dog's fine, but there's a lump in your wallet that needs to be removed."
'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'
"Medical insurance? Are you kidding? No one will cover me for nine lives!"
'Here it reads, pet care is close to a $40,000 billion industry. . .'
If you want full cover for your cat I suggest you take out the nine lives policy.
"Oh yeah, they've got me insured up to the eyeballs. These days I run across the road just for fun."
'Would you believe GEICO won't insure our gecko?'
Dog at Vets
'You always pay your bills promptly? Why? What have you got against the American way of life?"
'Yeah, I can see he's expensive! They'll BOTH be expensive...
'He's costing us a small fortune in food, he's going to have to go... down the toilet'
'I hope you've got good insurance -- He needs a LOT of decongestants.'
"Guess who's the 'rendered'."
"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."