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'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'
'All these years i've been doing tricks for regular dog food?! You're a monster, David. A monster!'
'Not the dog, not the dog, , ,'
Tags:dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, dog lover, dog lovers, cat, cats, cat owner, cat owners, cat lover, cat lovers, pet, pets, pet lover, pet lovers, pet owner, pet owners, cats and dogs, cats vs dogs, enemy, enemies, natural enemy, natural enemies, spin the bottle, kiss, brevity, brevity, brevity
'Yes, I am 100% positive that I didn't order a medium pizza with extra mice and sparrows.'
'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'
'Considering the price of natural gas vs. cat food, I calculated that it's cheaper to heat the house with the body heat of 50 cats.'
'Does your bird talk?'
'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'
'And you didn't think there would be any customers for liver-flavored cupcakes.'
'He liked the new dog food. He left us a tip.'
'When you get on the bus, you should go somewhere instead of just riding all day.'
'He wants to put his bones in safekeeping.'
'You know what they say. . . 'If your dog is fat - you aren't getting enough exercise.''
'What are you trying to say, Alan?'
'Okay Bob, but this is the last time. . . Honestly, if that stick is so important to you, you're going to have to learn to take better care of it.'
'What am I blind, Bob?'
Cats and boxes...BOXES!
'I like what you've done with your person this year.'
'Now remember, he spent $400 on that, so no matter what, we can never play with it.'
'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'
"What kind of mischief are you into now?"
"I've never seen him pause next to anyone longer!"
"There's a dog in Wisconsin that tells jokes."
Tags:pet, pets, dog, dogs, pet owner, pet owners, dog owner, dog owners, animal, animals, pet trick, pet tricks, dog trick, dog tricks, trick, tricks, smart, smart dog, smart dogs, smart pet, smart pets, intelligent, joke, jokes, telling jokes, leash, leashes, walk the dog, walking the dog, walkies, annoying, annoy, pest, pester, bother, bothersome, stare, staring, bath, baths, bathtub, bathtubs, bathroom, bathrooms, book, books, magazine, magazines