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'The FDA now requires that we have an actor show you what kinds of side effects you might experience.'
'Nope! Wrong again! Let's try it again... around and around... now which cup is your nitroglycerin tablet under?'
'You have a choice. An ultra-expensive medication that may cure you but has the side-effect of bankruptcy, OR a low-priced medication with a side-effect of a near-death experience.'
'I need something that will raise my energy level but not my self esteem - I'm already full of myself.'
'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'
'Would you please stop laughing and just give me something for my athletes foot?'
'Continue taking this medication until your money runs out.'
'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'