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'Congratulations, your days of avoiding the real world are finally over.'
Graduate School: That's right,,,You're STILL here,
"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."
Tags:doctorate, doctorates, post doctorate, post-doc, post-docs, post doc, post docs, academic, academics, researcher, researchers, phd, phds, p.h.d., disappointment, disappointments, directionless, scientist, scientists, humanities, the humanities, unemployed, unemployment, overqualified, over qualification
'In the future, that should produce thousands of PhD theses.'
'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'
'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'
"Do you have this grant in a bigger size?"
Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love
Tags:love, lover, lovers, academic, academics, research, researcher, researchers, phd, phds, phd candidate, phd candidates, anthropology, anthropologist, anthropologists, last night together, last nights together, couple, couples, long distance relationship, long distance relationships, health complication, health complications, modern romance, parasite, parasites
"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."
Tags:viva, vivas, doctorate, doctorates, phd, ph.d., phds, doctor, doctors, academia, academic, academics, thesis, defense, defence, award, awards, intellectual, intellectuals, punch, punches, punching, self-defence, self-defense, student, students, education system, exam, exams, examination, examinations
'It doesn't matter that your thesis is on extra sensory perception, you can't cite mindreading in your references.'
'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'
"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."
"Those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it. Yet those who do study history are doomed to stand by helplessly while everyone else repeats it."
Tags:history, history teacher, history teachers, history professor, history professors, phd, phds, masters, degree, degrees, graduate, graduates, graduation, history major, history majors, historian, historians, repeat, repeats, repetition, expert, experts, expertise, area of expertise, depressed, depressing, helpless, helplessness
Congratulations on your PhD.
'Thanks, I started collecting diplomas when I was seven.'
"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"
Tags:scientist, scientists, doctor, doctors, research, researchers, researching, discover, discovering, discovery, ethic, ethics, unethical, review, peer, peers, peer review, evaluate, evaluation, regulate, regulates, regulation, hide, hides, hiding, unlawful, impatient, impatience, exciting, excited, submit, submission, valid, validity, reluctant, procrastinate, procrastinating, procrastination, phd student, phd students, phd, phds, dissertation, dissertations
Memory Foam Mattress - MBA Harvard, PhD Stanford.
"A Ph.D. in physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."
'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'
Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.
Tags:laboratory, laboratories, sign, signs, thank you, thank yous, thank you sign, thank you signs, research, researcher, researchers, lab assistant, lab assistants, research job, research jobs, scientist, scientists, phd, phds, phd student, phd students, redundant, redundancy, replicate, replicates, replication, findings, study, studies, scientific study, scientific studies, chemist, chemists
"My grant is somewhat restrictive. I have to work only with even numbers."
Tags:mathematics, mathematician, mathematicians, even number, even numbers, restriction, restrictions, restrictive grant, restrictive grants, grant, grants, grant money, phd, phds, study, studies, studying, maths, math professor, math professors, absurd, absurdist, absurdism, research, area of research, research grant, research grants, overly restrictive
"Really? I got my PhD in economics, too."
Tags:homeless, homeless people, hobo, hobos, ph.d., phd, phds, doctor of philosophy, worthless degree, worthless degrees, economics, economics degree, economics degrees, postgraduate, postgrad, postgrads, postgraduates, post-graduate, post-graduates, degree, degrees, overeducated, over educated, too many degrees
A Guide to Academic Gowns and Hoods
Tags:academic, academics, academia, graduation, graduations, doctor, doctors, doctorate, gown, gowns, robe, robes, college, colleges, university, universities, degree, degrees, qualification, qualifications, professor, professors, phd, phds, doctorates, academic dress, academic gown, academic gowns, doctoral gown, doctoral gowns
"It doesn't bother me that I have a Ph.D. and I work here. My Ph.D. is in selling fish."