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"How nice of you to call me out of the blue, young man. It so happens I have forty-five million just sitting in my piggy bank, and maybe having a broker wouldn't be such a bad idea."
"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."
"Attention - today we're using British accents, and we're doing the bank scam."
'If you feel disturbed by this report call this number now.'
"This is Officer Smith from the City Zoo. You owe water taxes and you need to pay now...or I'll disconnect your gas service."
"I'm sorry...I'll gladly take your friends off my list...if you just give me their numbers."
"Some rascal saying he was you just tried to scam me!"
"We apologize for the delay. Due to an unexpected volume of people falling for our scams, our wait time has increased. Press 1 if you think we're the IRS, press 2 if you think we're the police, press ..."
"I'm sorry, you're too late - I just gave my bank details to another scam."
Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.