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'I'm sorry captain, he called shotgun...Got us on a technicality.'
'What do you mean you left the keys on your dresser?!'
"Don't worry—he surrounds himself with good people."
Tags:dog, dogs, pilot, pilots, airplane, airplanes, jet, jets, aeroplane, aeroplanes, incompetent, incompetence, affiliations, affiliated, nepotism, nepotist, incapable, incapability, inadequate, inadequacy, passenger, passengers, nervous passenger, nervous passengers, nervous flyer, nervous flyers, dependant, dependence, privilege, privileged, danger, dangerous, bad idea, bad ideas
'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'
An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.
Tags:flight, flights, cockpit, cockpits, pilot, pilots, engineer, engineers, engine drive, engine drivers, train driver, train drivers, train, trains, conductor, conductors, captain, captains, plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, ominous, worry, worries, fear, fears
"Let me try mine. It's made in China."
Tags:airline pilot, pilot, army, personnel, decorated, decorated officer, officer, official, armed forces, sergeant, corporal, major, general, generals, door, doors, card, key card, keycard, key cards, keycards, made in china, quality, manufacturing, manufacturing quality, quality assurance, lock, locked, locked out, technology, tech, security, secure, quality check, qa, q a, q.a, build quality, chinese industry, industry, china, chinese, american industry, industrial, mass produce, mass produced, mass-produce, mass-production, industrial superiority, made in america, made in, american manufacturing, manufactured, manufactured in america
"Mommy's not home. Mommy's on a plane ride with Captain Yummy!"
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, father, fathers, dad, dads, family, families, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, infidelity, cheater, cheaters, extramarital affairs, affair, affairs, dating, plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, pilot, pilots, captain, captains, flight, flights, not home, modern life
'Dang! Crashed again! Oh well... I've got to get to my flight.'
Tags:pilot, pilots, airport, airports, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, video game, video games, arcade game, arcade games, crash, crashes, crashed, crashing, fly, flies, flight, flights, worry, worries, worrying, worried, flight simulator, flight simulators, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Someone must love someone very much indeed."
Tags:pedestrian, pedestrians, pilot, pilots, airplane pilot, airplane pilots, vapour trail, vapour trails, aeroplane pilot, aeroplane pilots, vapor trail, vapor trails, love, in love, romance, romantic, romantics, heart, hearts, heart and flowers, young love, stunt pilot, stunt pilots, condensation trail, condensation trails
A man in an airplane shoos away geese
'Please turn off all cell phones & personal electronics during this surgeons.'
"Say, buddy - how about a little something for the landing?"
A flighttime story
My First Boat
Tags:capsize, capsizes, capsizing, pilot, pilots, new boat, boats, boat, boats, ship, ships, seafarer, seafarers, seafaring, yacht, yachts, personal yacht, personal yachts, newbie, newbies, new, learn, learns, learning, incompetent, incompetence, safety, sign, signs, excuse, excuses, skill, skills, skill level, skill levels, learn, learns, learning
"Must you precede everything you say with 'This is your captain speaking'?"
Tags:airport, airports, airline, airlines, pilot, pilots, plane, planes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, airplane, airplanes, captain, captains, annoying habit, annoying habits, work/life balance, life/work balance, life-work balance, work-life balance, career, careers, taking our work home with you, bringing your work home with you, workaholic, workaholics
"Isn't this nice? You're in the Air corps and I'm a volunteer airplane spotter."
Tags:air corp, air corps, pilot, pilots, air force, airforce, air-force, airplane spotter, airplane spotters, volunteer, volunteers, flirtation, flirtations, flirt, flirts, love life, pickup, pickups, pick-up, pick-ups, pick up, pick ups, party, parties, vintage, world war ii, come on, come ons, come-on, come-ons, sexually harass, sexually harasses, chat up, chat-up, chat-ups, chatting up, chatup, chatups, chat ups
'You can relax now, ladies and gentlemen, , , we're through all of that rough turbulence,'
"And that one shoes my frequent-flier miles.
'Dozens of gauges and knobs, but not one cigarette lighter to plug in my heated travel mug.'
Tags:airplane, airplanes, pilot, pilots, fly, flying, flies, flied, control, controls, controlling, controlled, cockpit, cockpits, travel mug, mug, mugs, plug in, cigarette lighter, cigarette lighters, travel plug, travel plugs, electronic, electronics, heated mug, heated mugs, heated, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"...And then we have the 'Terrorist Special' where you're shot in the head and then dumped at the airport of your choice."
Tags:terrorists, terror attack, terror attacks, war zone, travel warning, travel warnings, war zones, tourist attraction, tourist attractions, travel agent, travel agents, travel agency, travel, travel company, vacation, holiday, holidays, vacations, airport, airplane, aeroplane, pilot, excursions, dark tourist, tourist, tourism, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, terrorism
"Excuse me, but I think you're in my seat."
Tags:airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, air travel, flight, flights, flying, passenger, passengers, tourist, tourists, tourism, travel, travelling, traveller, travellers, traveling, traveler, travelers, pilot, pilots, airline, airlines, seat, seats, window seat, window seats, you're in my seat, cockpit, cockpits, wrong seat, wrong seats
"Your pilot is still de-icing."
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, pilot, pilots, captain, captains, de-icing, deicing, weather, bad weather, snowstorm, snowstorms, snow, snowing, ice, de-ice, deice, cold, winter, wintertime, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, liquor, booze, drunk, drunks, drunk driving, drunk driver, drunk drivers, dangerous driving, dangerous driver, dangerous drivers, dangerous, risky, delay, delays, delayed
'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'
"Good morning, folks, this is Captain Holwood from the flight deck. We'll be cruising at thirty-five thousand feet today, and I'll be finally taking control of my life, struggling to satisfy the needs of only one person—me!"
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, pilot, pilots, co-pilot, co-pilots, copilot, copilots, announcement, announcements, loudspeaker, captain, captains, mental health, self-esteem, self-confidence, ego, flight deck, flight decks, taking control, life, breakdown, breakdowns, divorce, divorces, split, splits, separation, separations, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, heartbreak, broken heart, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, family, families, family issues, family problems