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'I understand you've had some trouble with your breast implants.'
"Your sunny disposition may have been an asset when you were in sales, Nyman, but in the production department it gives everyone the pip."
'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'
"We have big news!"
Giggling madly, the lemon seed drifted over to the straw and waited...
'Too late-that University team have pipped us!'
'I need my PPI money to pay for my PIP's.'
'What the Dickens?'
'I'm afraid toothache doesn't fit the criteria either!'
'What do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?'
Mock cover of 'Landfill' magazine
'When I first met him he was the apple of my eye but now he just gives me the pip.'
Football anagrams: A jerk named Pip (Answer: Jamie Redknapp.)