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"Take into account I've probably put on about thirty pounds."
"This is your captain speaking."
Tags:pirate, pirates, pirate captain, pirate captains, piracy, captain, captains, pilot, pilots, piloting, co-pilot, co-pilots, announcement, announcements, aeroplane, aeroplanes, airplane, airplanes, plane, planes, flight, flights, passenger announcement, passenger announcements, pirate ship, pirate ships
"We have half your money in bonds and annuities, the other half under an oak tree in the Caymans."
Tags:financial advisor, financial advisors, pirate, pirates, pirate captain, pirate captains, bonds, annuity, annuities, tax avoidance, tax evasion, tax dodging, tax avoider, tax avoiders, tax dodger, tax dodgers, tax evader, tax evaders, offshore account, offshore accounts, offshore bank account, offshore bank accounts, offshore banking, tax haven, tax havens
"I know. But you can't choose who you love."
"I've got a weak muscle in my eye, and my doctor says the patch will help."
Tags:pirate, pirates, piracy, pirate captain, pirate captains, eye patch, eye patches, eyepatch, eyepatches, weak ye muscles, medical advice, doctors advice, pathetic, modern life, modern attitudes, doctor's advice, good advice, backstory, backstories, tragic backstory, tragic backstories, fight, fights, disappointment, disappointments
A pirate in a pinstripe suit makes someone walk the plank
Pirate and parrot using ATM.
Santa never made it as a pirate: 'Yo ho ho! And a bottle of egg nog!'
"That's the flag we'll fly atop our pirate ship!"
Tags:jolly roger, pirate, pirates, pirate ship, pirate ships, piracy, privateer, privateers, buccaneer, buccaneers, pirate-ship, pirate-ships, pirate flag, pirate flags, pirate captain, pirate captains, blackbeard, skull and crossbones, raising the flags, raising the colours, mutineer, mutineers, designer, designers, fashion designer, fashion designers
"You're right- things are funnier in threes."
Tags:rule of three, the rule of three, walking the plank, pirate, pirates, execution, executions, pirate ship, pirate ships, pirate captain, pirate captains, comedy, comedian, comedians, writing principle, writing principles, punchline, punchlines, standup, standup comedy, standup comedian, standup comedians, comedy writing, comedy writer, comedy writers
Captain's Log: Day 3 of Polly's cracker detox was a tough one...
Pirate Captain Wears Pirate Slogan T-Shirt
Tags:pirate, pirates, yarr, yarr, me hearty, yo-ho-ho, avast, avast ye, scurvy, shiver me timbers, shirt, shirts, tee, tees, t-shirt, t-shirts, ship, pirate ship, pirate ships, captain, captains, pirate captain, pirate captains, cliche, cliches, consumerism, slogan, slogans, cliched, skull and crossbones, crossbones
"We should make it past the rocks by nightfall, provided our luck holds."
"We made it more convenient so that you don't even have to walk now."
"Shall I let them breathe."
"She left him for a two-legged pirate!"
Tags:parrot, parrots, infidelity, unfaithfulness, bird, birds, birds of paradise, bird of paradise, pet, pets, pirate, pirates, pirate captain, pirate captains, piracy, privateer, privateers, buccaneer, buccaneers, adulterer, adulterers, gossip, gossips, gossiper, gossipers, gossiping, bird cage, bird cages, birdcage, birdcages-
"I don't think the new guy is going to work out."
Tags:pirate, pirates, piracy, pirate captain, pirate captains, buccaneer, buccaneers, privateer, privateers, parrot, parrots, bunny, bunnies, rabbit, rabbits, replacement, new, pet, pets, raider, raiders, office, pirate ship, pirate ships, partnership, partnerships, new job, new jobs, black sheep, animals, employee, employees, employer, employers
'No sire, it's not a spelling mistake.'
"Yer know I hates it when yer read over me shoulder!"
"Can I return this? The strings keep breaking."
"Hold right there, matey! You just had your last meal. You're not going anywhere near the water for at least half an hour."
Tags:pirate, privateer, buccaneer, freebooter, marauder, corsair, corsairs, buccaneers, privateers, pirates, piracy, swimmer, swimmers, swimming, swim, swims, pirate ship, pirate ships, walking the plank, walk the plank, pirate captain, pirate captains, prisoner, prisoners, indigestion, tummy ache, tummy aches
"Polly wants a cracker...and a second opinion."
Tags:parrot, parrots, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, veterinary surgeon, veterinary surgeons, cracker, crackers, pirate, pirates, piracy, buccaneer, buccaneers, privateer, privateers, pet, pets, pirate captain, pirate captains, second opinion, second opinions, medical opinion, medical opinions
All booting, ill gotten or otherwise, must be declared as income."
"I broke up with the Captain. We didn't see aye to aye."
Tags:pirate, pirates, piracy, pirate captain, pirate captains, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, date, dates, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, love life, disagreement, disagreements, different opinion, different opinions, seeing eye to eye, relationship breakdown, relationship breakdowns, breaking up