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"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."
Tags:gluten, gluten-free, gluten-intolerance, intolerance, intolerances, gluten allergy, gluten allergy, allergies, wheat, celiac, celiac disease, angry, pissed, unhappy, back, returned, return, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, food preparation, cooking, baking, baker, bakers, food, monster, monsters, creature, creatures, blob, blobs
'Drugs...I've never seen the point of them myself!'
"This may just be the booze talking here, but... Fhsdfulsdajnnv;zkjdptthhhhhhhpbt!"
"You know what? I probably could have put Humpty Dumpty back together again but I was just too pissed."
Tags:nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, humpty dumpty, king's men, kings men, soldier, soldiers, guard, guards, pissed, angry, anger, fixed, fixing, repaired, repairing, too late, broken, smashed
'I dreamed I joined a twelve-step program.'
"When I said bring the bubbly, I didn't mean Alka-Seltzer."
'HNo wait - they taste better if you let them marinate longer!'
"If we die, I want you to know Tim. I'm still super pissed you told Karen that I hooked up with Angela."
Tags:dinosaur, dinosaurs, diplodocus, dino, dinos, meteor, dinosaur extinction, extinction event, extinction events, last words, die, dying, dying words, annoyed, pissed, hold a grudge, holding a grudge, grudge, grudges, tattle-tale, tell-tale, cheat, cheats, two-timing, two-timer, two-timers, gossip, gossips, gossiping, friendship, friends, petty, pettiness
Drunk lizard/newt gets thrown out of the 'Nibworth Nature & Wildlife Conservation Annual Dinner Dance'.
"I don't dance on the head of a pin unless I'm really drunk."
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, heaven, angel, angels, clouds, how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, pin, pins, dance, dances, dancing, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, drunk, drunks, inebriated, pissed, intoxicated, uninhibited, free, wild, out-of-control, out of control, letting your guard down, relax, dance on the head of a pin, metaphor, metaphors, expression, expressions, word play, wordplay
'I saw the glass as half-full, whereas management saw the glass and noticed I was half in the bag.'
It's only a game, It's only a game...
"And then one day I realized I'm just gonna have to settle for liquid courage."
Tags:balloon, balloon pop, latex, thin skinned, skin, needle, tattoos, helium balloon, tattoo needle, bad idea, drunk idea, drunk decision, tattoo parlor, tattooist, tattoo idea, regret, regrets, instant regret, drinking, bars, friend, las vegas, drunk, alcoholic, alcohol, bar, impaired, pissed, hammered, wasted, pub, tavern, inebriated, liquor, plastered, drinking, booze, binge, egging each other on, bad idea, bad ideas
Let's get totally... Brahms and Liszt.
'No more wine for me thanks Dan. That first glass went straight to my head.'
Wine taster getting drunk
'Of course I've been drowning my sorrows, what else can you do with them?'
"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"
'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'
Bride carries drunk groom to bed as page-boy carries both the brides train and the grooms beard
"Never mind the vintage, we just want to get pissed."
we put him in touch with his inner child, unfortunately it wasn't toilet trained
"He sure liked to drink a lot."