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'Hey, hey, hey! Wait until I toss up the ball. I want a fair jump.'
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"We beat the spread!"
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No eye in team.
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'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'
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'Here we go again... Dewey's personal life is interfering with his game.'
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'He was a good coach. But hey, bottom line in this league? If you don't win, you get whacked.'
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'Whoa! Cool your jets. You just learned to stand erect. We'll work on the crossover dribble later. Learning basketball is an evolutionary process.'
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'Yo, Sid! Go get sheared. We're skins.'
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'Now get out there and believe in yourselves! If you believe in yourselves, you can beat anyone!'
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'No, Biffy! Get back here! Bad boy! Spit it out!'
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'What?' 'You got him with an elbow.'
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'I can't dunk.'
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Maps to celebrities courtside seats
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'Shall I box up the shoes, or does your son want to fly them home?'
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'Jiggles is out for the season... he broke his funny bone.'
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Banked on a college degree without an NBA career to fall back on.
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'Dart night was a stupid idea.'
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'Go ahead, Calvin. Get yourself killed. I've warned you a million times about dribbling in traffic.'
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'... And when I came down with the rebound, I heard something snap like a twig. How bad is it?'
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'Let's go home, coach. If God was going to intervene with a miracle and change the final score to save your job, it would have happened by now.'
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Flagrant wedgie.
In Philip's recurring nightmare, he enters the game in front of a capacity crowd and a worldwide TV audience wearing basketball shorts from the 1980s.
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'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'
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Athletic Darwinism.
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'I can't decide whether to pay my rent this month or go to the basketball game.'
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