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'Listen, they've scored five straight goals. It's nothing personal, but I think we need someone with limbs playing goalie.'
"Suddenly, five minutes into the match, Edwardo goes soft."
Chicken, cow and pig playing American Football...chicken lays an egg and cow carries on playing.
Football team discussions.
'I'm tired of you criticizing my performance. You didn't think I could hear you through the TV, did you?'
'Then I remarked how good it was that the linebacker faked the blitz then dropped back into coverage. You should have seen his face. It was like I'd taken away his G.I Joe and put a dress on it.'
Fat kids in football T-shirts, Rooney and Ronaldo. Man says: 'It's good for kids to have sport role models.'
'-and remember,under any circumstances, NO extra time!'
Free kick to us...er I mean, to Rovers.
'I've told you, the rumours I have become more aggressive are a load of rubbish!'
'Would you believe we forgot to put anything in the contract about him actually playing football?'
Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.
'I tried to shrug off my foot injury and dislocated my shoulders!'
"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"
"You know what fellas, I don't want my ball back!"
"Right, the first thing we're going to practise is rolling around, clutching our legs and crying in the penalty box."
"Of course I love you more than I ove football -- You were my first-round draft pick!"
"Let me through - I'm a Sound Recordist!"
If anybody asks just tell then I'm new to the area.
I got my bad back from an old football injury.