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'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'
Tags:family life, family-life, septic tank, septic tanks, plunger, plungers, plumber, plumbers, plumbing, christmas morning, christmas mornings, xmas, magic, festive spirit, festive spirits, seasonal spirit, emergency plumber, emergencies, disenchantment, disenchanted, holidays, real life adventures
A plumber heads down to a basement to find a boy with his finger in the pipe.
Tags:pipe, pipes, dike, dikes, boy with his finger in the dike, hans brinker, silver skates, flood, floods, flooding, flooded, basement, basements, plumber, plumbers, plumbing, plumbing problem, plumbing problems, dam, dams, stop, stops, stopping, hero, heroes, heroic, dutch boy, dutch boys, little dutch boy
"You can replace the tank, switch to natural gas, or huddle in a corner and cry as you ask yourself why you ever thought buying a house was a good idea."
Tags:new house, new houses, property, workman, workmen, plumber, plumbers, plumbing, electric, electrics, electrician, electricians, option, options, expense, expensive, expenses, replacement, replacements, advice, advising, consult, consultation, consultations, improvement, improvements, work, work done, cry, crying
'I'm beginning to think the definition of 'hero' isn't what it used to be.'
'Your drain pipe was having a bad hair day.'
Tags:drain pipe, drainpipe, drain pipes, drainpipes, drainage pipe, drainage pipes, having a bad hair day, bedhead, bed head, bed headed, do it yourself, do-it-yourself, plumbing, lumber, plumbers, drainage, drainage products, drainage supplies, clog, clogged, clogged up, clogging up, clogged sink, clogged sinks, bathroom, bathrooms, toilet, toilets, excuse, excuses
A plumber pulls cash out from the sewer near a casino.
"The problem is that your trap is one big macaroni."
'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'
Heading towards the In-Sink-Erator... 'Nooooooo!!'
Tags:food waste, food wastes, washing up, washed up, washes up, chore, chores, kitchen chore, kitchen chores, household chore, household chores, mash potato, pea, peas, mashed potato, plumbing, waste, plumbing, blocked, blockage, blockages, blocked pipe, clog, clogged, plumber, plumbers, waste disposal system, waste disposal systems, garbage disposals, garbage disposer, garbage disposers, food waste disposers, food waste disposer, sink, sinks, mess, messy, wasting food, wasted food, leftover, leftovers
"Here's your problem."
'I have the results of your liver scan. You don't have all your ducts in a row.'
"Hand me my claw hammer."
"If the plunger doesn't clear up the condition, bring in your drains and we'll have a look at them."
Tags:plumber, plumbers, plumbing, advice, giving advice, unprofessional, professionalism, lazy, laziness, layabout, layabouts, business man, business men, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, business people, self help, self-help, bad advice, impracticality, modern life, con man, con men, con, cons, unhelpful, unhelpfulness
"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, patio, patios, side-walk cafe, side-walk cafes, cafe, cafes, shopping, consumerism, hardware, plumbing, supply, supplies, hardware supplies, plumbing supplies, order, ordering, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, saw, saws, wrench, wrenches, pipe, pipes, screwdriver, screwdrivers, drill, drills, tool, tools, hardware store, hardware stores, plumbing store, plumbing stores, awning, awnings, sign, signs, signage, strange, unusual, odd
"I can't find that much hair in a drain and not see stress issues."
Tags:plumber, plumbing, emergency plumber, emergency plumbers, plumber, emergency plumbing, superintendent, superintendents, building superintendent, building superintendents, super, supers, caretaker, caretakers, building manager, building managers, apartments, apartment, maintenance, maintenance man, furniture, furniture repair, confusion, confuse, confused, burst pipe, burst pipes, pipe, pipes, water, water leak, leaking water, repair, repairs, repair man, repair men, troubleshoot, troubleshooting, absurd, modern furniture, modern furniture design
"Oh, there's your problem—twenty years of resentment at having to do the dishes."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, husband, husbands, wife, wives, couple, couples, dishes, washing the dishes, washing up, washing, dish washer, dish washers, dishwasher, dishwashers, plumber, plumbers, plumbing, kitchen, kitchens, resentment, anger, bitterness, rage, chore, chores, housework, blockage, pipe, pipes
'I told you it was a stupid idea to try to fix the disposal with your tie on.'
This is the 4th time this week!! It's almost as if someone's sabotaging it so it won't flush... Anyhow, I need to set up another service appointment.
Tags:dung, beetle, beetles, bug, bugs, telephone, telephones, phone, phones, plumbing, plumber, plumbers, insect, insects, toilet, toilets, loo, loos, block, blocked, blockages, sabotage, saboteur, sabotages, sabotaging, service, services, air, airs, enquiry, enquires, complains, complaint, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
'...well as far as leaks go, this is definitely a nasty one!'
'Dave... Your intimate apparel is showing.'
"All our flow charts are backing up!"
Tags:plumbing, plumber, plumbers, indirect plumbing, direct plumbing, pun, puns, play on words, low income housing, bad architecture, plumbing fixture, plumbing fixtures, fixture, fixtures, pipe, pipes, low income, cheap housing, cheap houses, pipe fitter, pipe fitters, poor, affordable, affordable housing, fault, faults, faulty
'You could go home tomorrow, but it will take the plumber three days to disconnect you.'