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"Here's your problem."
'Rick, I think something is wrong with the septic system. The toilet is flushing kind of slowly.'
'I love Saturdays. . . why couldn't this happen on Monday and ruin a work day?'
The folly of calling in a theoretical plumber. . .
"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."
"I'm recording this so next time I swear, you'll know where I got it from."
From time to time, Carl struggled with plumber's block.
"Excuse me Mr. Plumber, my son just called, please be careful not to disturb his genetically altered aquatic scorpion colony."
"The upstairs toilet leaked so we decided to frame it and call it a Gerhard Richter."
"I guess I found your problem, Miss Rapunzel."
"You know, honestly I see it as half full."
"I've fixed the problem. It's just water under the fridge now."
"The plumber asked us to bring the leaking tap around to his office... he's too busy to make house calls."
"I can't handle this. I don't have a fishing license."
Man using a plunger on his horn.
'Your toilet isn't working!! Can you hold?'
"Thank goodness you're here! My husband is trying to fix it himself!"
"I can't make it today! I have a plumbing problem myself!"
"What? You've got problems with a pipe? The whole house is dry??? Don't panic! I'll be there in a minute!"
"It appears the water pressue on the bidet misfired and she blew up like a pufferfish..."
'Whatever you've done, the water tastes fruity.'
'The good news is I've found a plumber... the bad news is he's coming from China.'
'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'
"My husband said he could fix anything so if you find him, tell him he was wrong!"